what is going on?
really, please tell me.
inquiring minds need to know
as in me, im the inquiring mind.
im struggling to find my own self
you see,
I've built this persona , right?
so you may meet me and perceive me some way that fits into your mind
or the other hand
you can know me for awhile
and
built this persona of me, slowly yet surely
so you understand
except I seem to surprise you
I take you by whim
catch your breath kinda thing.

ah, so you don't know me?
or you thought you did.

question..

here is your info..

two sided individual
anti social introvert
unknowingly kind
yet blunt

so which am I?
today?
tomorrow?
the next 5 mins.?

tell me,
what do you think of me?
do you have me figured out?
what is my persona?

He changes his name
again and again

to love the rain and the life
he left behind

He changes his name
over and over

to stop the hurt and the feeling
he feels every day

But most importantly, he changes his name
constantly

to block the love and hide from the glare
the world gives off

I drew an old man,
with beard

like mine--though his face had
more wrinkles

deep lines of age
are hard to draw  

my pencil bore down at the center
of those creases

like I was trying to leave a mark
that wouldn't fade

or trying to carve something
from nothing

piling lead upon lead,
on paper

that couldn’t protest my adding of years,
with a dull number two        

when my pencil was but a nub, there were
more years yet to add  

by then, my hands were weary
my eyes blurred

I had no blade to shave the wood    
from the shaft    

to make more eternal marks
on white space

Seeing less living

Not breathing

But feeling

The scorching light

Tearing my skin

Fading away

Away I go

Into the deep abyss...

You see, I am not human.
I am but a soul with a breath of life.
I am love. I am art. I am dust.
I am made one as the stars.
SAME particles and molecules as the universe.
It must matter that I am made up of M A T T E R
I am limitless. Infinite. Well, I feel infinite in some sort of way.
I transcend time and space to explore its singularity.
... where love was... I began

I am with a naked spirit - bare albeit naive.

I exist
     to feel, to see, to touch, to smell, to taste and to experience
     this tangible world.

'LIFE'

I am pain.
       I am madness.
            I am bohemian.
                 A nomad. A gypsy. A wanderer thirsty for the adventure.

I am not simply made by happenstance
This is the universe. This is fate. This is our destiny.

Let the cosmos guide you. Let it surround you. Let it flow in you.

For I am part of the GRAND  DESIGN

          *and so are you

Wonders why I can't sleep,
Till I realize they're just thoughts.
Many events, many happenings,
I can never seem to forget.
Good or bad, big or small,
They're still there:

What's tomorrow when its the same,
The same as the day before.
Nothing changed except for one,
My addiction is finally gone.
I feel proud because of that,
But that's all I'm ever proud of.

Why do people need friends,
When they pretend you're not there?
I grew up in a rude environment,
I thought everyone's like that.
Just another misconceptions,
But no, I'm just so used to it.

2:11 am,
I always slept at 4 or 5.
Over the summer I'm an owl,
Never waking up during the day.
Forced to swallow down food,
I end up skipping a whole meal.

I never felt so alone,
Why alone when you have voices?
They talk to you when you sleep,
They talk to you any day.
Unlike "human" friends around my circle,
They're just one of my ghost followers

I must sleep now,
Too many thoughts.
No wonder I'm so wide awake.
Hoping I'll make it alive another day,
Wanting to make it to my goals.
I'll climb the challenges by myself,
This is what I have to overcome.
But I'm also used it too.