""If I had a better
               choice":
                                             I'd B+ tears;
                              Formed,
            Forceful­ly,          
                              Fornixated;          ­                                            In your ansestors hearts.                                                          ­ Carressed,
              Lovingly,
                          Plea­ding,
                                       Begging,
                                                      As­king,
                                     Wanting,
                  Desiring,
Only You.
                Smart,
                           Strong,            
                                         Handsome;
                   Elegant soul.
Displayed;
                Only
                        In your greens eyes.
Staring,
             Me back,
                              Stuck;
                      ­                 In a trance.
Lost;
         In your glance.
                                  Running
                      ­                          Gently
                                                          Down. ­              Your cheeks
                     Landing softly
   In the creases
                           Of your
                                       Amazing smile"

all i think about is you

you consume my body and my soul

my thoughts are morphed into yours

it feels like you are an extension of my heart and without you I am broken

every time we touch my lips quiver and butterflies dance in my stomach

when Im with you,

everything is heightened

my nerves crackle like summer lightning on my skin

flashes of heat stroke my body like a feather

you make breathing more bearable and singing more sensational and laughter the music to my ears

you are my fatal flaw

my Achilles heel

you are my best friend and my soul mate and my family all wrapped up into one package

sometimes, I ask myself why you are the secret to my happiness

you believe in me more than I could ever believe in myself

with you, hope is in places I couldn't feel it before

when I think about losing you my world becomes less beautiful

the colors are dull

everything is less electric

sparks and glimmers of hope disappear into what could have been

and then I wake up

my heart pounding and my skin flushed

for a second I don't remember

that this is all a fantasy

that you are still

gone

gone

gone

when you left you took a piece of my love

there is a human-sized ache in my side where you were ripped away from me

but then I remember

I remember all the terrible fights and empty promises you slammed in my face

I remember the bruises and the heavy hearts and the angry sighs

I remember all the reasons I shouldn't love you but instead I begged you to stay

but still

I try and grasp and remember that fantasy of you that I dream about every night

I wish to hold onto it and remember it forever

because even on our worst days together

life was still better with you

but then it is gone forever

just like you.

"You're gonna get sick and weak if you don't eat."
But what if I already am?
These emotions have consumed my heart entirely.
I cannot tame this feeling,
     but I can control everything else.
Being skinny...
     bones are considered beautiful,
     food is the enemy,
     muscles are weakness,
so the fruit in my water is not to be consumed,
     but only to be tasted.
I have begun to become so numb that it has spread to my physical
     self.
Unlocking my front door this morning...
     I could see it unlock and open,
     but I did not feel it.

do not ever degrade yourself
to the extent that you think you are
unworthy
unloved
replaceable
because you are not
you are
important
beautiful
and valued.
you are not
just anyone
remember that.

Loving you

Was the most

Beautiful

way to die