I could feel the longing in her eyes
As we spoke
Each word she whispered stung and ached
Like the bite of a venomous snake
But every move she made had screamed
With unspoken apologies
Apologies for what,
I did not know.

How do you feel
When you trained yourself not to
I’m sorry
I don’t want you to hurt
That’s not what I’m going for
I just **** up a lot
Forgive me now
And forgive me when I ***** up again
My imperfections run deep

Sorry isn't good enough.
Sorry doesn't mean you will stop doing what you do.
Sorry doesn't mean that I now trust you again.
Sorry doesn't mean your actions will change in any way shape or form.
Sorry doesn't mean that our relationship can now go back to what it used to be.

Sorry means "I know I stabbed a knife in your back. It didn't occur to me that it would hurt. I'll try to remember that next time."

They never remember next time.

but you can’t fool Me,
I see your sadness for exactly what it is,
in between fake laughs false compliments,
& passive aggressive insulting attacks,

I see your sadness that you hide behind those name brands,
Drew House with fake smiles can’t fool me nor impress me,
the only way to get ride of your darkness is to let it go,
share Yourself with others like Shia did with #IAMSORRY,
made some mistakes a couple hundred times but it’s okay,
find a Purpose like Justin admit your mistakes & say Sorry,

you’re beautiful just the way you are, mistakes paved the way,
you are a living Self Portrait,  put your colors on display,
& admit you were so concerned with your own heart,
that you didn’t see the Heartbreaks that you made…

from poem #5 of THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available worldwide 9/9/19

I heard your voice for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t sound right.
No, it didn’t feel right.

I spoke your name for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t taste right
Rolling off my tongue.

I heard you cry for the
First time in a while,
And it still tore my
Soul from my body.

I heard you laugh, and
****, it was still comforting.
It’s been a while, but
It made me laugh, too.

And ******* it, I’m
So sorry for what I did to you,
And the things I didn’t do;
The emotion I kept from you.

Pardon my actions if they are wrong,
Atleast inform me if it gets too long,
To see up the sky and follow the dawn,
Remember this thing- I'm not a pawn.