and it is certain, as certain as wisps of hope and grey smoky prayers can be

that although distance clambers before us, the moon as i see it is the same for you

the days and the nights and the schedules – to hell with them

for all i know we are breathing together, we are inhaling and exhaling as one

two bodies, as one in our mind’s eye

and i cannot help but to feel over every pore what it feels like when your hand flattens against my neck

it burns through my skin even as i sit here, eyes closed to a bright sphere which passed your vision hours earlier

i shudder as the sweet burn runs through me like honey straight from the jar

sugar travels fast and far, on the backs of trillions of ants like stars splayed across the earth

and the earth is just a canvas where we paint our struggles

though i hum at the bursting sparkles above many atmospheres

they do not keep an account of the way your tongue creeps past your lips and onto mine

only the earth knows the way our gaits come together and our bodies exist at the same level

stretched out between us, from one son’s antennae to another’s

the Queen entertains stories of those eyes that i miss, thick black crescents soft against my face

things immeasurable, things untold, things i do not own

you only share these with me but my access to the feelings they leave behind is limitless

the distances i would travel for you to remind me of what i already know, is something the moon understands

despite all else

it is heavy and slow but it always returns, waiting for the inevitable yet dynamic

if you tell me tomorrow what i want to hear today, i’ll get your message on time

just whisper it with those rosy lips of yours and my ears will open their arms to you

better yet, scream you love me into the quiet night sky and the sun will vibrate, causing the moon to chuckle

the ants will find me first

i sit here and i echo

i love you i love you i need you i’m with you i crave you every breath

until we breathe no longer i’ll say it and i’ll listen

we only speak it in breaths apart

i want those words, oh how i need to hear them in person

and i’ll swim oceans and levitate just to hear you again

tell me what i already know

i’m listening with my lungs

——-

Red ants, black ants, yellow ones to. Some large some small. Building their own war.
Huge mounds with tunnels. Millions of you around. Watching how you change the ground.
What is your purpose? Only one we see is you eat the aphids that really annoy me. You are food for the flighted ones even the lizards with teeth.
But here you are beneath my feet. You bite me with no reason for sure.
If I stomp you many more will come look for you I am sure.
My land looks like tiny villages of mounds. With new property lines established by your armies you create.
Can you do me a favor and vacate.

The pillow's edge
Ornamented with an ant
Its siblings crawling on the pipe underneath
This one's rebellious
Debating whether or not
to cross the border from my sock to my skin
Come on, Little Ant
What are you - Afraid?
The smells and the texture
as my leg hair sways
Come on, Little Ant
I'm doing nothing all day
Except to face my few fears
The wind wants to play
You know when a horse drags his front foot
And hangs his head a little, nudging into you
His horseshoe catching the dirt
as it drifts towards your face
Just like that
The wind wants to play
Come on, Little Ant
What are you - Afraid?
Of the taunting
And haunting
that lives in your brain
Come on, Little Ant
I'm doing nothing all day
But to burn in the relentless sun
And blow you away

It may be that all
that some are delegated
is tragic ambition.

And it may be that a
mercantile exchange system
shouldn't be the arbiter
of who lives
and who dies.

And it may be that you
and I have noticed
diminishing returns
on all our investments
in Someday.

And it may be that things
continue to happen to my body
that I wasn't planning
to have happen.

And it may be that Time
has only small plans
for us:

that we are ants carrying our green burdens
skyward

endlessly,

up that precarious

impassive

furrowed

murderous

tree.

I don’t know what hurt worse,
The tick-tock
And clock in all –

Or the waiting,
Just one more second,
The wanting,
One last second
And be ******
The wine stained sand
And buzzards atop ear;

Always to remind of how I’d
Loved and ultimately
Failed.

To meet another human* in the places that you go
you have be a seeker of the things you want to know
And not just in a way that makes it easy to have been
but so much more connected to the souls inside your skin
'Cause even if you shatter like a clay that enters heat
there cannot be a ****** lest you dare admit defeat
So wait beside the doors that mark the exit you have sought
and let yourself remember why you walked into your thought
The answer could be simple in a complicated way
but you will never see it if you make the choice to stay
I wanted you to speak without the fear of holding on
without believing you are but a shadow of a song
For that can be a mess that you intentionally made
to prove you aren't here because of something you can say
Forget we have the limits we ourselves create and ****
the passion you've been chasing could be living in you still