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Elisabeth Oct 2018
Pooh Bear, Pooh Bear call my name.
Holler Christopher Robin to keep me sane
I don’t like this disappearing game
You hid in the roses and were never seen again
Tears stream down my face leaving a stain
Screaming for you left my throat raw from the strain
Hid in the roses never to be seen again
Tears fall down my face leaving a stain.
Screaming for you leaves my throat burning from strain



Pooh Bear Pooh Bear call my name
Please do not refrain


I need you with me on this train
Do you have no shame?
Can you at least explain?
When did this turn into a disappearing game?
Jayce Sep 2018
we got tattoos and the ink overpowered your blood
i cut myself open to remind you of it
you grew bored of trying to revive your heart

we pledged our allegiance over shared bottles of *****
the alcohol whispered that I could finally stand on the edge and drop off
you stopped helping me down and started offering to push me

you'd called me your sister since we were eleven
we grew like flowers, but my mind began to wilt
your garden grew despondent,
you pulled your roots from mine and grew away from me

heaven, don't leave me at the gates
i'll shred my throat raw from begging for help to heal an ache that Fear keeps sore as he reminds me
"angels do not befriend the deficient"
Sleepz Sep 2018
Tired once again,
Bags under the eyes,
Nightmares promising that if they close it will be the last time.  

The stone presence,
A presence that's there,
Yet no longer existent.
Only in dreams,
The self provoked thoughts,
That never quit their insistence.
Ideas spread like an infection,
Blessed are those who never see the moons crescent.

The stone presence ,
Tempts a weakened voice to rise,
But what if the avalanche buries their lives?

The stone precense,
It urges the peaceful to diminish their mercy,
Who will save them from being swallowed in the chaos?

The young boy begs:
"Tell me you no longer feel,
Speak your despise against the crimes,
Express the soulish pain.
Spit out your angry sight like darts to a kite,
Explain the doubts and truths discovered,
Command to the judgment seat those to be anhilated,
Compose the reason hands shake,
Argue the reason you're gone forever,
Plead the stone presence to cease.

The war has been lost,
But suddenly the enemies are nowhere to be found,
Did they depart to another realm?
Have they joined the spirits who are unseeable?
Detection is now impossible,
To what was once ease to trace.

The young boy cries:
"I wage war! I Wage war!"

There is no longer anyone to listen,
The stone prescense is there,
Undeniably.

I need a battle,
I need a battle,
Except,
The battle has been over.
I have no longer one to raise my fists to,
My problems have evaded,
Where is change to be produced now?

Is there nothing to absorb these emotions?
The stone presence haunts me.
My anger affects no one.
Like a child I cry,
Yet there is none to feed me.
This stone presence will never leave me.
My army has lost its purpose,
There fore there's no soul in sight,
Everything around me has deserted,
Am I the stone presence?
Enjoy your hardships, once you solve them, what will be left for you to do?  Your gaining of meaningless things will only take from your satisfaction.
Nicole Sep 2018
The savior
The perfect partner
The dominant
The free spirit
The fiancé
The parental substitute
The anarchist
The sweetheart
The nice guy
All of these aspects of myself
Yet none of them are fully me
These are the roles I've fallen into
In order to match my various partners
And though all of these may be
Different components of me
None of them feels quite whole
I do not feel whole

All of these personalities
Exist on a spectrum of time and space
None interacting with any others
Each signifies a distinct point in life
Each has its own home
It's own experiences
Attitudes and viewpoints
Behaviors and habits

Yet what do I do when
Two of my contextualized selves
Decide to overlap?
When my ex who knew the fiancé
Moves back to town where I live
As does my person
Who's heard stories of the others
But who only knows the nice guy

How do I begin to heal when
I do not understand what is real
And what existed solely for others?
How do I continue to grow
When the fiancé is fighting restraints
And the nice guy is exhausted
The sweetheart does not exist
And the anarchist screams for revolution?

They seem to be fighting each other
Just to have a chance to breathe
A chance to take the wheel
A chance to control "me"
Yet who even am I?
Are all of these selves fabricated
Or are they hyperbolized aspects of me
Connectable like puzzle pieces
Into one beautiful picture?

The problem is
The picture I see is not beautiful
I'm trying to be nice to myself
But all I see and feel is darkness
I am an abomination
An evil person who cannot be trusted
A dark soul inhabiting an empty body
A person who is not a person
A human with a lack of self
It's almost like I'm not even alive
But even death would be a relief
So I can finally end the confusion
And stop hurting people along the way
Jade Sep 2018
The breath of the past was light with normalcy,
Not yet soured by the fear and the hate
And the gusty bruises.
What would you do to feel
The wind again?

Sometimes I remember the soil beneath my feet.
When I do my bones ache for static ground,
For the hot dew of summer morning.
After it collapsed from under me,
I walk with the tenacity of a bird,
My footing always a step behind.
Have you ever
Walked against the earth?

When I heard the screams my lungs would swell with water.
I’d grasp the blade under my pillow
In shallow hopes of repair,
But I knew if I tried I would only float,
Since the ocean does not forgive.
When did you teach
Yourself to swim?

She felt the heat when she saw you,
But she never saw the fire.
We danced around it and pretended
That we knew each other.
And we smiled,
And we laughed,
But your corneas ignited.
In the deepest black the sparks flew
And the heat twisted the corners of your mouth upward like scorched wicks.
I would ask you why you watched us burn,
But to you
We were all just ashes.
darling, I'm sorry
for letting you go
before you could
Have been suffering from fear of abandonment all my life
Pagan Paul Sep 2018
.
To whom it may concern.
To anyone who remembers me.
I bet you thought I was dead,
hidden in this house of lunacy.

You had me brought here,
so this letter to you I pen.
This place is cold and sterile,
I can't wait to be free again.

Was it for my own safety?
Or was it to safeguard yours?
I cannot recall the problem now,
my mind is stuck on pause.

They fill me up with pills,
keep my head in narcotic haze.
I have a soft and secure room
to smile away the days.

It will be good to see your faces
when they finally let me home.
I wish one of you would write,
or call me on the telephone.

Why do you never come and visit
The Moontouched man so mad?
I'm sorry you saw my melt-down,
sorry it made You feel that bad?

I hope you will read this letter,
the pen and paper I had to borrow.
But the drugs are starting to work,
I'm so drowsy now...
          ... I'll finish this tomorrow...


© Pagan Paul (2017/18)
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