When I lose myself, in the quiet, I go
I dig till the tin scrapes rock and Orr
Find soil in the sand and make it so

In my sign, unfound
Reach down into the well for a drink of cold
Pluck stars from the sky once young and align

It is not enough to claim these seas, my own which roll
And boats that turn on waves a dime

No
What I do in each moment is this

To the pit of my stomach I reach
I grind

Feather is a tiny hope
That can fly
With no more rope

And lot of feather
In its wings
Soothes our inner soul
To never give up
In life

A tiny hope of feather
Filled in full of wings
Is ready to fly
At any time
To reach its destination

Whether weather is bad or good
Whether there is dark cloud

Feather give positive vibes
During all around the seasons

Feather in every weather
Makes a cooling effect
In our lives

Let’s be kind
To the owners of tiny hope
And give some water
In every summers
To keep fresh those feathers
Which mesmerise us with
It’s feathery wings
To keep going
Without a quit

She made a simple call
gave a penny
without feeling tall
a giver of love
the receiver of more

In the garden ,my friend,
He tends, pulling and digging
Cutting back so hope can Spring
Filling in next year’s spaces
With renewed life.

I have known this slowness
For many a year
Working through paintings
The death of his father
This slowness is my acceptance.

Love Mary x

Dear T,

You always used to tell me you were the devil, that you were heartless,
And I’d always chuckle, say “No you’re not!” And kiss your cheek.
And the truth is I really didn’t believe you, and I never saw you like that.
I think I truly did see all of you, but I focused on the good, and I thought you appreciated, and maybe even loved, that about me.
But maybe I was wrong because, hah, well I broke up with you, I thought amicably enough.
I had closure, I recognized that maybe we just weren’t right or good for each other.
But for whatever reason you felt the need to start **** up again. You knew exactly what to say, what to do, how to act, and I was yours yet again. For some reason you were my achilles heal, and I’ll be ****** if you didn’t know it. I loved you so ******* much. And I truly wanted to believe the best, I fought everyone off, including myself, who thought your intentions were questionable. You knew I would. You knew.
And I hate that you were right. I hate that I said yes when you asked to paint, I hate that when you asked me over I came, I hate that when you said  you needed me I believed you. Maybe you did need me, but you certainly don’t care enough to love me the way I loved you.

I hate it all. And though I’m trying not to, I hate you. I just don’t understand WHY you wouldn’t just stay the **** away from me. Why did you have to tell me all the things you did, made me feel like the most important person in the world, and then toss me away when I was inconvenient for you.
If you were lonely, why not find someone else?
If you didn’t know what you wanted with me, why didn’t you just wait till you did know?
Why did you have to drag me along when you KNEW I would hold on?
Other than the fact that you’re a selfish *****.

I understand you were leaving, that you couldn’t make any promises, maybe that you were confused. But you are the kind of person who can see 4 steps ahead and predict outcomes, so you can’t say that you didn’t know how I would act.
You’ve called me predictable so you can’t say you didn’t know. So all I can wonder is why. What good reason could you possibly have had to yank me around like that, and take advantage of how much I cared about you?
Do you just hate me so much that you didn’t care what would happen if you hurt me?
Was it just simple apathy?
Were you bored?
You can’t say you didn’t think because we both know that’s impossible for you. You always have a move, a goal.
So what was it?

I guess thats all I have to say.
I hate you, I’m trying not to, but right now I do.
And I truly do not understand why you came back. I don’t understand your goal.
Maybe you truly were just bored and are, in fact, heartless. Maybe everything you said about caring about me was a lie, maybe you just wanted to mess around with someone and have decent memories. But why the **** did it have to be me?
*******.