my lips are chapped from kissing you,
i'll blame it on the winter blue,
an unseen taint upon my skin,
licked bruises bloom from deep within.
i should have known loose liquored lips,
would lead handprints upon my hips.
do you love the way i smile?
stay and laugh with me awhile?
i know you love to trace my mouth
i watch your gaze it  travels south
remember when you called me pretty,
here inside this broken city.
now we're back where we began
on trembling legs i stumble, ran
you are silent, say goodnight
i don't reply I'm not polite.

What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
When all I can think is
All the times you shut me down
Didn't think I cared
Tried so hard to show you I did
But it didn't work
When you got angry at me
And I didn't know why
You told me to open my eyes
You swore at me
Just like they did
Just the same way I've been hurt in the past
If you push me away enough
I'll eventually leave you
There's only so much
One person can take love
I hang out with this group
You're not very fond of
But when I'm with them
everything bad goes away for a while
They help me forget
I love them with everything I have
You don't understand that
I don't understand you a lot

I'm sad
I don't know why
I do
It's a lot of things actually
The fear of losing him
The fear we won't be close anymore after this year
If he leaves after this year
I'm not ready for that
I also don't know what to say to her
To ease her mind
To make her feel wanted and that I care
She's my best friend
But I can't  tell her
I'm still afraid of getting bullied
I'm still afraid people are judging me
All the time
It's painful
I'm confused
Hurt
Scared

**BROKEN

What's the point
In trying
What's the point
In making an effort
With you
When you have "goals"
**** your stupid goals
They're not goals
They're just an excuse
**** it
*******
Without you
There's nothing
I have no one
I have no one to share
My everything with
No one to help me
Like you do
No one to protect me
Like you do
No one to talk to
No one to joke around with
Like you
**** it
I can't

It was inside his poetic mind
Held deep hidden from even him
The rhymes that would tangle her
In a web of lust, spray painted gold
Altering the finish to match loves luster
His words would wrap her in a warm blanket
The same blanket that one day she might smother herself with
Only after choking on his words
Drowning in his bile
The wolf in sheeps clothing
Was always referencing the man who
Would twist words with emotion
Guiding the unsuspecting down a lime lit path of fizzling dreams
The path lined with broken picture frames and crumpled love notes
With only the occasional straw handle to affectionately grasp towards, if only there to hang yourself from.

don't you remember when we were kids?
and we have so much energy we couldn't get rid of?
we were all smiles and giggles,
and our drawings were squiggles.
don't you remember?

i don't..
i was never one of them
i was a different type of gem.
i was told to sit and listen
not to make a frisson
not to make a noise in front of the judge and jury.
do this so we can hurry

don't remember them and make memories of me
forget memories from them and remember me
they left you i helped you means
she tried giving you a better life i stole you

she doesn't miss you means
you still mean the world to her
why don't you trust me means
do what i say

you don't miss her means
i don't care about you and her
shes gone and i'm here means
i'm the only one left

you weren't one of those kids
i always made you sit still and quiet
all your drawings were your signature that gave me your life
don't you remember?