I lie in bed wide awake
I should be sound asleep
Should of been hours ago
5 am comes so early
I think of how it will be to sleep
I turn once more
Focus on clearing my mind
Glance at the clock
Oh I think I'm drifting
****, my mind is no longer clear
Crap now I have to ***
Snuggle back into bed
I start to drift
The alarm goes off
Well that was ******* amazing
Will try again tonight
Wish me luck
I sit here at home wondering how I will make out
About to move in a month
I don't like change
Change is stress
Stress is worry
Worry of the unknown
Will I like it
Where will I put things
Will it feel like home
I'm doing it for the right reasons
So I tell myself
I will have an herb garden
I will be able to feed the birds
All this I love
I love the apt I have
If If If....If only I knew
Change is coming
What a wonderful tree
You give me such peace
I sit under you in my chair and
listen to the birds
chirp, chirp, chirp
The wind lightly moves your
such a vibrant green
Your branch bends and tickles
me with your leaves as if you
are saying hello
I meditate in your presence
and giggle when you tickle my face
your leaves are so soft
Before I leave I always rest my hand
on your trunk
the grounding affect is so strong
so much strength you have
Thank you for sharing with me
to have such peace
I met him on facebook
His eyes are what got me
That beautiful smile
A pose that could melt me
He said hello
I said hello back
He said I was beautiful
I said thank you
A week later he said he was falling for me
I said don't fall for me
He said you will fall for me to just wait and see
Two months later and I fell for him
I told him I loved him
He said I told you you would fall for me
Six month later he said he was going to visit me in time for Christmas
Something came up and he couldn't come
It broke my heart but he said soon
March came and went and still no Jim
He said I'm come just wait for me
I keep waiting
July came and went, and still no Jim
He said stop riding my *** I will get there just wait and see
He said don't give up on me
Two years later and still no Jim
He met some one else but says I'm still number one
He says that he loves me
He says she will be for both of us
How can this be
Another six months and still no Jim
I've talked to the other girl she seems so nice
She loves him deeply and is willing to share
I gave it some thought cause I loved him dear
After all it had been three years
My heart was so broken and my head so ****** up
I actually thought I could share a man I loved so much
One day I woke up
Realized he just wasn't worth all of the pain
I wrote him and email and said my goodbye
He never wrote back
I know my decision was right for me
His lack of response was enough for me
I'm in a transition from being married to single.
Now I am told I have to go out and mingle.
Being an empath this isn't the easiest to do,
when so many emotions are trying to break through.
I get so bombarded from the things that I feel.
It begins to become something unreal.
My head feels like it's going to explode and my tummy flips
as nauseous feelings run through.
What am I to do.
To shield it all out is exhausting to me.
I want to be home.
I head for the door.
The wave of emotion is just so much and the bolting takes over
as the door comes into sight.
I head out the door and the fog starts to lift.
My tummy settles down and nauseousness shifts.
Who would of thought being single could be so much fun!!!
Being an empath I am told is a gift,
maybe one day the fog will lift.
Too feel so much love is to also feel pain.
To keep it all balance can be quite a strain.
Dearest Dad how I love you dear.
You've been gone so long.
I know it was not your choice
you did not wish to go.
The pain you mush had endured
knowing you had to leave your family
Especially leaving Mom to do so
much on her own.
She did well with a few small
bumps. She is so strong and shows
so much love.
Many things I have forgotten.
I barely know you at all.
I used to blame you.
I don't any more.
I hope you are at peace.
A dog you were not,
a companion and best friend
you will always be.
To spend years with you was a blessing
that I shall never forget.
You were so loyal and so loving.
Your heart was so large.
Loosing you so soon was hard.
I thought I had years left with you
and saying goodbye broke my heart.
I know you will always be with me
and for that I love you more.
You were the best puppy one
could ever ask for.
I love you Teddy Bear