meet me there.
over the horizon,
where the line between the sky and mountains
ceases to exist.
where my canvas remains bare
and blindingly white.
yearning
yearning
to be painted.

splatter me with hues of colours,
then leave me
leave me unfinished.

so i dissolve
my very essence
pooling at my feet.
now a murky shade of brown
i seep to the ground
and lay there.

but a tiny flower blooms in my wake.
nothing but a fragment of what once thrived.

Am i writing for myself
Or is it for u to know...
My presence couldn't express
The Pain u watered to Grow
Every Bit thats broken
Every word unspoken
Still wants u
Still needs u
Just to let u know
The Pain u watered to Grow

I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

Sometimes
I just want to die

not really,
but really

I'm just wanting an escape.
Wanting to leave this place
Leave the people
Leave the stress

I don't want any of it
Don't need anybody
just one
that's it

But I couldn't take him with me
He deserves better

I don't have any friends.
Don't get along with my parents.

I feel alone.
So just let me do it.
Let me go.

My wrists are already scarred.
My cheeks are already tear-streaked.
My will is already almost gone.
So just let me go.