I'm not out the woods yet
but at least I do see a clearing up ahead
sunshine gracefully dancing between the leaves that have shadowed me.
days. weeks. months. years.
What is "time" anyway.
But alas, the sun's rays whispers this one little secret
I spy this, this bit of solitude in the distance
the thick tall trees and brush is thinning
the ground more even
I'm not sure if it leads to the end of this wood, or if it will only offer a brief respite from my tortuous journey
But I'll take it.
I'll sleep there and I'll catch my breath
And I'll thank God for the peace
I'll lay on the solid ground
and hug the space around me
I'll inhale deeply and digest this rare moment
then back onto my journey
and if it proves to be the end I'll take it
and if I find myself back in the wood, I'll look forward to another clearing.

One day you'll be sitting there
Thinking about me.
And I'll be somewhere,
Doing the exact same thing,
Thinking about me.

I knew it wasn't going anywhere, but I enjoyed basking in the the thought of you
Two different points of view

But in derision I let you see my blues
And reds
And greens
And blacks

I shared my entire box of acrylics
because you always interpreted my work so well
With you I felt
relaxed.
And free to be all my different hues

I should have known better than to let another medium ruin my piece.
My peace.
Disturbed
Excited and shaken!
But we were never a "we" or were gonna ever be
You never e-
'rected
a piece in my name
Through my pleas...
please.
Instead
that work was hers
And I a welcomed muse
You found your
inspiration
Through me
lock up all my colors.
And toss away the keys...
Maybe we both were being used.

Some people only open the door
to slam it harder.

I didn't see it coming
but I felt it in every ounce of my being
an impact so heavy that fragments of my fragile self was scattered throughout the street

dizzily I tried to piece myself together
resulting in such a mess

inanimate reflection of distress

so I tore myself a part again and figured I'd lay there in the world
on the pavement
pieces of me in cement
floating away like rainwater, caught in the flood of duress

susceptible to the elements

but I couldn't stay scattered about
being walked upon and forgotten
sweet apathy I didn't care
but care came back all a'sudden
so I tried to sweep me back together this time
more patient
more diligent

armed with scissors and tape and glue
some pieces gone forever to the deep
some pieces too withered to renew
but there I stood

all askew
no more the one I thought I knew
But the one I chose to keep

I wanted to fall asleep immediately
So I could hold on to the sound of your voice
Float on its timbre
And let your english envelop me like a foreign language

This aberrant dialect.

Every letter wrapping me in its cursive like a warm blanket as I try to commit these strange sounds to memory, because a sentence has NEVER made my face soo flush
OR made me feel the way my soul feels barefoot center stage.

That last breath before blackout.
The feeling in my chest as the curtains rise...

Honest
Childish
Your word choice

I wanted to fall asleep immediately when we got off the phone so I wouldnt miss that flight to you in my dreams!
Where the night doesn't end...

I hadn't taken off my earrings
Or my necklace or my glasses
I hadn't tied my hair
Or brushed my teeth

I didnt say my prayers!! I, I wanted to fall asleep immediately so I could pretend that you were
THERE.
Ya know?

Holding me at heart-beat's length
Telling me to keep talking cause
my voice is so mellifluous.
my silly rambling is a lullaby.

Sweet, melodic
Pleasant, soothing
Too much of a good thing

I wanted to fall asleep immediately so I could land on our conversing and allow the reverberating echo of my collision to torment every
Stage.
Of.
REM.
A reflection of him
And me. And time. Delayed gratification.
The ever-waaaaning night!
Tomorrow
but a slow
creep...
sigh
I wanted to fall asleep immediately
'Lest this moment
forgo my keep.

3.18am 7.25.14