it comes and goes they say. Bringing life to awkard ways. Stimulating awkard minds on lonely days. wastes away in intrinsic minds,repressed.
hapless beautiful thoughts used as insipid grumblings in a harvest without seed.
It is a must.a need.a gift
times' vacation, times' digress.

I keep running, running, running
A young girl trying to find her place in the world
A grown woman trying to be respected for who she really is
I look back at the past and
Down on the present
And hope to God that the future gives me something to look up to
Family curses trink’ling trails of hate in my blood
Reminders of loved ones who were hurt by ones they loved once
Inspirations inspiring me to keep chasing my dreams but reality is …reality
I wake up and wonder what proactive thing I can do today
But reality is reality.
And reality smacks me down and says “nothing”
I’m not a pessimist but I bear a weight with the wield of the world as its stamp
Its not on my back but its on my sisters’ back. It not in my home but its in my brothers’ home
Reverberating in my mind the terrible wonders of the world
Feeling ignorant, not knowing how to help
I read the world news to find out what to do
And lo’and behold a “disabled puppy can only walk in circles”
WHAT?!
Darfur must be a myth and I guess AIDS isn’t “in” anymore
I keep thinking..wait till I’m established
Wait till I’m out of this rut
My life will be holy and pure and intelligent. giving and tithing and..happy and busy…and.. **** and rich?
Cause that’s how it should be right?
Confusing
Why cant I be a soul sistah with locs that likes to listen to rock and give spoken word wearing knit hats and demanding answers? Then go home and maybe watch some anime.
I’m conflicted
I’m disdainful
I’m selfish
I’m vehemently out to get what I want because my forefathers died trying to get it for me
And you know what? I’m gonna get it, because while all this crap goes on in my brain and in my heart , in my family and in the world. Its going to stay at my heels because I keep running, running, running

I back track my steps until once again i feel cold pavement on my heels and the dewy grass has retreated to once again stretching to receive the sun. I bump into the same glass door, the *** still warm as though i had just let go if it, it jabs me in my side forcing me to acknowledge my collision as I face the transparent barrier to what I once thought was home. Its so smoky in there that I can hardly recognize the countenances of my old friends; greed, lust, hate, ******, drugs, envy. I shake my head squinting to read their name tags but the air is too thick for oil stone to sharpen and they're so busy till I realize they don't see me right there. staring. I want to say hi, tell em' the world is cool they shoulda' wisened up like me. All I did was tell a lil white lie but if you're like me, and you wisen' up, you too my dear friend may smell the crisp scent of the greener side. And boom there I was back with my crew. Formerly known as lies, my tag clearly now says pride.

Here's a poem that I wrote the other night at late o'clock while working my usual midnight shift. Personally I think this is one of my best pieces because I usually don't write stuff like this, I call it "sappy" haha but thats just because I'm such a boy sometimes. Anyway, I like this because I'm a little less inhibited in this piece and you guys get to catch me being girlie. Hope ya like it.

I WANT LOVE. I want late o'clock conversing that leads into morning. I want your aspirations to become ours. I want to lay in the security of strong arms and broad shoulders.
I want good days and bad days and great days and drama and I want love.Love thats deep and blue with strings and knots and ropes and braids and faith and trust, you know?
I want my own key for cloud nine.
I want love recursive because it's too close to perfect not to do it again.skin meeting skin.
hands meeting hips
Lips meeting lips feet in the air and locs in the wind.
Love that embraces what I embrace and you embrace and the differences between them.
I want to study the map in the palm of your hands and follow it and create new destinations. I want the painting we'll create when our complexions are twisted together, then another and another.
I want altruism, recklessness, spontaneity, pure concentrated freshly squeezed love with extra pulp.
And I think 'pulp' is an ugly word but I want love so good that I just might wake up one morning and write a song for pulp because all o'sudden everything's beautiful.
I WANT prayed-up non-perverted divine order love.
Love that ascends and evolves; that challenges scientists, intrigues mathematicians, and inspires artists. I want love, and as far as I'm concerned that is the only way it comes.
Sharde' Fultz 3:56 am Aug.31 @wk

I've been thinking about my goals and how I will acheive them and I keep running into this good for nothing bleep called PATIENCE. So heres a lil something

I want everything-everything
I want the world because I can
I want power because I can
And I want everything because I can.
I am tired of hoping and wishing and promising
because I CAN- be tired of it
I want now, and I want
everything
I want time, I want love, I want happiness
I want knowledge
and yes I want everything
and yes I will get everything I want as long as I realize I should want
PATIENCE.

I’m so busy not sleeping right now that I’ve thought myself into a restless stupor. My winter aestivation was cut short by your prying and kneading
And needing to be within my thoughts
Kind words and smooth talk
“I can’t just be friends; I don’t know how I could do that.”
I didn’t choose to welcome 3:45 in the morning; I believe this is what you sought.
Love unrequited is a wound I’d never want and never could I have imagined being caught Red-handed, blood stained with your heart, eyes flushed and cruel and wicked and heartless from a day of turning you down.
I’m not that kind of person I can’t stand it.
But you want me to. But you want me.
You want to be able to hold me and claim me and protect me and I don’t know what to do
I keep thinking of different ways to tell you, but every way I twist it
It still burns you the same. I pour salt into a wound I made…
Waning you on fewer texts throughout the day
It would be so much easier if you were short, or not so amazing and handsome and smart and if you couldn’t make me smile. Unfortunately you’re all this and more and you came out of nowhere and that is why I can’t just jump into an “us”.
In the end you’re still awesome and you’re still beautiful, and you’re still getting hurt and I’m still calling you ‘cause you’re so good to me and I love it
But you want more--here you are fighting for my heart and every day trying to wrap my hands around yours
This is a part of me that no one has been able to open and you stand there with reformed tools .
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to tell you that I have not already said.
“Friends” is not a title you can live with and that’s a crying shame because if we can’t start that way I’m not sure how we can start.
I don’t want to lose whatever we have but I’m not ready for a relationship either…I’m still lost because somehow my plan didn’t work
I thought “Just friends “would be simpler. But in the end you’re still getting hurt.

I cried so hard last night
I cried soo hard
I try to stay positive but it was something I had to do
there is cancer in my body
located in my chest
Last night I cried so hard, as though I was just realizing this
but no, it's nothing new
not too new
my mom was there to comfort me
she was there with words of encouragement
what I have is something curable
but my tears were still well spent
I believe in God for my healing but pinned up confusion overwhelmed me
I had to vent
I had to vent
ventilation for my questions
are you serious? Who just gets cancer honestly?
I did
But I'm okay now, because last night I smiled soo hard too
I smiled soo hard
I smiled because cancer cannot make my friends abandon me
and it cannot **** my spirit
Cancer cannot do the things my God CAN do.
It cannot heal me yet every day I am feeling better.
The cancer in my chest is totally unable to beat the strong faithful dancer in my blood
and I smiled for all these things because no matter how many times I get down
they can't beat how often I am up because I am blessed and my blessings outweigh the stormy flood.
I cried soo hard last night man, I cried soo hard
But I smiled too.