lately happiness seems to come and go
like a lover who bores easily
as i don't offer them enough to stay
while the depression always returns
like an abuser, it's fists made of ravage fire
masquerading loyalty and love i know is insincere

I don't disappoint people,
I just take them through lessons on why they should never have their hopes raised too high.

Truth is you
weren't blameless
I saw your eyes
flash red that night
the fire in your palms
wouldn't burn out.

Together we were
a suicide pact,
there was something
about the drug in
each others eyes
that made us want
to overdose.

We itched like
razor blades
on each others skin,
our tongues a noose,
heartbeats fast,
furious.

My hands bled love
my knuckles
bruised like skies
I puked up every word
until I could finally
say goodbye.

Today was the day,
Tonight is the night.
I'm forgetting you,
You are my past,
A memory.

I can feel it, my heart is empty now, you destroyed me.
I'm ready, you're not good for me.
I don't want to hear about you anymore.*

You're just a player,
I thought i could win the game,
But, I don't wanna play anymore if at the end
I loose myself.

I'm a murderer
I've stabbed my own heart.
I'm a thief
I've stolen my own happiness.
I'm a liar
I've told myself how much better things would be.
I'm a slothful woman
I fell asleep.
I'm greedy
I've eaten my own pain.
I'm hungry
Just not for sin again.

Could you love me when I laugh,
Could you love me when I'm daft?
Could you love me when I cry,
Could you love me when you don't know why?
Could you love me when I don't feel pretty,
Could you love me when I want your pity?
Could you love me when I feel pain,
Could you love me when you feel the same?
Could you love me when I love you,
Could you love me and love me true?

I tried, I swear that I tried.
But I can't stop thinking about you,
Writing on you.

I have so many things to be said,
Things I would like to tell you,
But I can't.

I thought that stop writing about you would help me to forget you,
Would help me to get you out of my head but it's worse.

Everything I don't  write plays in my head like a melody on repeat,
It's unbearable, intolerable, that drives me crazy, makes me loose sleep, you're toxic, and the worse part is that i love it.

I give up this fight between my head and my heart,
Between the reason and the madness,
Between the reality and my dreams.
I give up the idea to forget you,
Anyway, the more I try the less it works.