I wish we could go back years ago, to those days when you were a puppy a young healthy energetic non-diabetic puppy
When we play with your mom
She passed away years ago, but every time y think of her it hurts all over again
It take me back to that exact moment i run to my bedroom crying and start to drown myself in tears, nothing could ever replace her maternal feeling and the protection she will have died to give me
People might be thinking this is so stupid you are talking about a dog
But they will say that cause they just don't understand, they can't understand how it feels, how i felt
And now watching you so proudly, you learn everything we thought you
You learn to recognize my smell, my voice, my crying sounds and you sit beside my window just in case i needed you, just in case i need to look at those shiny full of hope beautiful eyes that you have
I used to think that fatness was a sing of healthiness, at least in you, you always looked so happy fat and adorable, now im watching you get skinnier and weaker every day and its just hurt so much when i look at you and your getting older but at the same time always seeing that young and wild puppy that i saw the firt time.
We grow up together, your mom was like our mom and i see you like a sister but at the same time like my baby that i have to protect.
I really wish I'm doing it well, I'm new at this, it is really making me stronger, your knew I always wanted to be a doctor and now I'm practicing because i have to inject the insulin every 12 hour and then give you your special food, and put that cream on your left leg, and after I finished all that i sit and look at your eyes and see then turning blue, and start to realize that you will be dying soon and there's nothing I could do about it
You are going to die and the only thing i can do is think about how much I'm going to miss you when your gone but at least you will be resting in peace and i will be getting stronger
Today was a normal day, we cleaned the house and make lunch, then we took you to get clean and I went to the hairdresser.
I was coming back home and hearing the radio with mom, suddenly she received a call, her face changed completely, she looks at me as i ask what happened and tells me that you are gone, that your little heart couldn't handle it anymore and that you are no longer alive
I stay quiet for a minute or two, and I started asking questions with what i had of voice between my sobbing
When I got home I could barely got out of the car, and when I did the house already felt extremely empty without you saying welcome back! And smelling us while moving your tale with some much happiness
You waited for me for four months and i will never be more thankful for that cause i got to say goodbye
I now you got through so much, every single problem you riced above, you were blind and somehow managed to live incredibly
I love you so much and i have no idea how will I managed to live without you, What do you do with all the love in the world you were willing to give, how do you keep going when the thing that kept you going is gone?
This day didn't went as I imagine and life will never be the same, this house will always be a little bit emptier, my smile will always be a little bit fake and my heart will always have a little hole were you will always live with me
My dog died and my soul too