All the years Ive invested in our relationship
Now its just a sinking ship.
Everything Ive given, tried as hard as I know how.
All weve done and we still cant work it out.
She calls on the phone, Hear the steady drone.
Havent heard from her in weeks.
Where are you?
Are you sleeping with some other woman?
I told her if she acused me again then were done.
I cant do this anymore, its not fair to eather of us.
Its not fair to her.
All I gotta do is get a job and a place,
then everything will be back to normal.
But Ive had the job, the place to live, Ive given all I know to give.
There must be something more I can do, I cant hit the floor, I cant loose you.
I am, I have, its to late.
My mistake of the past of come to haunt me here, this is all a lie, I cant hold on, its all gone.
Cant loose you, cant loose me. If I loose me dont know what I will become in here.
Let me show you whats in here.
Let you know my fear, let you see my pain.
Though I tried in vain, tears fall loike rain.
Cant stop this love in my heart for this dove for whom I fall apart.
Though the years Ive come to know her fears.
Through the time Ive come to do the crime.
No matter what I say its the same everyday.
No matter what I do its all the same to you.
Through hers fears Ive come to taste her salty tears.
Through my life Ive come to cause her strife.
No matter what I know I cant ever go.
No matter what her gain I still cause her pain.
Even though I cant hide I still have to face my pride.
Even though I cant run still gotta stick to my gun.
I said the vow now I gotta figure how to make it work feel like such a ****.
Who am I trying to fool, who am I trying to school.
Cant tell me a **** thing Im allways rite.
My whole life is just a lie and Im allways wrong.
I know that now yet somehow Ive got to rite the wrongs Ive caused to those I love.
Knowing Im wrong doesnt make what Ive done rite and it dont make it none the easier for her.

In just one year,
My life has changed,
I havent started over,
But ive been rearranged.

I thought that I loved,
But it was a lie,
and then it was over,
and I said goodbye.

Ive met new friends,
and lost old ones too,
They come and they go,
Like people always do.

Ive changed my outlook,
On God and on fate,
Ive lost some issues,
And ive gained some weight.

I tried alcohol,
Hard liquor and beer,
It cost me someone,
I held very dear.

Ive lived through some things,
That could have knocked me dead,
If it werent for someone,
Who had a level head.

Ive taken risks,
Despite my heart,
Ive felt my world,
Get torn apart.

I laughed so hard,
I rolled around,
In my pjs,
On the ground.

Ive missed some people,
Theyve missed me,
Ive seen some things,
I wish I could unsee.

My life has changed,
In just one year,
Ive been pushed away,
And drawn in near.

I didn't realize,
But now I see,
That all this change,
Is good for me.

But that's not his name.
He really doesn't have a name.
For starters no name could even hint at what he means to me.
No name could get anywhere near his sheer visceral naked beauty.
No name could delineate the slim ripple of his muscles.
His beautiful stiff ****--oh so suckable and lickable.
No name could hint at the smell of the dried **** on his *****.
No name could begin to describe the taste of his warm fresh ***.
No name would fit the feel of the shaft of his perfect stiff **** in my fingers.
No name could describe the shade of lavender of his exposed **** head.
The way his **** head fits in my mouth.
The feeling on my tongue as I slide it along the full length of the shaft of his stiff ****.
I call him Ben.
Weve travelled the world together for nigh on 29 years now.
Ive ****** his **** in ,my imagination on most continents,as ive laid in the same room tossing myself off imagining being ****** by him every night and during every day..
Ive licked his *** filled ***** in Bangkok and Delhi and London and Amsterdam and Barcelona and Deia and Kathmandu and Bodh Gaya and York and Paris and Dharamsala and Amravati and oh so many other places.
Ive swallowed litres of his warm fresh ***.
Ive rained typhoons of kisses on his upturned face.
Ive tossed him off to ******* too many times to count.
Ive loved him endlessly.
I call him Ben .
His diamond sharp intellect.
His smirky smile that lights up his face.
His oh so tasty tongue flickering in and out of my mouth.
Licking my lips--wrestling my tongue to a standstill.
The taste of his saliva --like the sharpest sweetest nectar.
His arms that wrap themselves around my nakedness.
His hands that never fail to connect to my *****
no matter how dark the room.
His fingers that tease and ****** my throbbing testicles.
My lovely boyman--my lovely lover.
I call him Ben.
His fingers wrapped around the shaft of my stiff ****
like ivy on an ancient wall.
they seem to grasp my ***** member so deeply
its as if they live below my skin.
I call him Ben.
When I kneel in submission to him and lick his *** filled *****
I am elevated into the land of adjectives and superlatives.
When I cringe servilely at his feet licking the full length
of the shaft of his oh so stiff and perfectly shaped *****
I become just a tongue tasting his dried ****.
I call him Ben.
Oh I so love and adore the taste of his dried ****
coating the lavender helmet of his bell end.
When I slide the whole of the head of his hard *****
between my lips filling my mouth completely
I am turned into a human shaped jelly quivering
with the anticipation of swallowing the cream of his pre ***
flowing out of that divine slit.
I call him Ben
When his naked hips ****** his stiff **** down my throat
I feel divinely graced with unconditional love
and I realise he owns me.
I am his ****.
I am his Slave.
I await the whip.
I long for the sharp sting of the lash.
I need the tender chastisement that only Ben can give me.
I call him Ben and he is  my Master.
He tells me stand with my hands on my head
and I immediately comply with his order for I am his Slave.
His very own *******.
There to give him the pleasure he gets from whipping me.
There to offer all parts of my nakedness to the whip in his hand.
Why is Sado-Masochistic love with Ben so lovely?
Why is the pain of his whipping so soft and gentle and tender and stinging?
Why do I stand with stiff **** jutting out and ***** dangling
begging him--beseeching him to take advantage and whip it as he does?
Each stroke of his whip making my **** **** and bounce and sway
turning it red and so mildly painfull?.
I call him Ben and I love him.
Ive loved him for 29 years.
But alas he does not love me unconditionally..
When we are together he humiliates me and I love him more--for his weakness in being the Slave of the Mind and Conditioned Identity.
I love feeling inadequate when I am near to him.
I want him to humiliate me.
To be humiliated is to be humble.
I do not care what people say.
I love him.
I call him Ben.
But oh how I wish wish wish that he were like me.
Mindless and Conditioned Identityless.
He could be such a nice guy if he weren't such an *******.

Ive

Ive is love.

Her smile is most precious when you see it for yourself

Ive is life.

I love the way my eyes immediately find her in a room full of people

Ive

Every time I catch a glimpse of the angel with the beautiful hair, my heart rate accelerates.

Every time I win the lottery and get rewarded with the chance to smell the pure, indescribable fragrance of her blessed hair or her perfect body, every cell in my body yearns for more.

Ive

I love the way, without practice, my mind automatically puts me in a good mood..making me smile when I think of her.

Ive is life.

Her eyes are the most lovely when you pay attention and listen to the song they sing.

Ive is love.

Ive

Ive found a love that only gets better,
Ive found a love that will last forever,
Ive found the one that feels just right,
Ive found the one who holds me tight,
Ive found the one that gives me light,
And it will last forever,
Ive found a love that never fails,
Its a love that will prevail,
Ive found the one that holds me close,
Its a love like an overdose,
The times are tough,
It all seems impossible,
But ther was one thing we knew,
We seemed to pull through,
Ive found a love that only gets better,
Ive found a love that will last forever.

lately ive been getting lost in music,
lately ive been trying my best to drown myself
in a poetic way, mind you,
i've always disliked water.

the strings, the intakes of breath before the voice gets higher,
drums and harmonies and the longing in that last note,
the one that tells you it's the end of the show,
i hear it all now.

lately ive been something, anything, and nothing all at
the same second,
lately ive been tired. lately ive been exhausted. lately ive been in bed. lately ive been out of breath. lately ive been. i have. i think i have, im sure i have.

theres this passage i like, deeper in the song,
you heard of it ? let me explain a bit
please listen to me, for a bit
share my passion, share my love, just for a bit
its all i have, this little bit
feel its lonely rythm, at least.

lately ive been saved by music,
lately ive been falling asleep.