Even though humans struggle to live and darkness is easier memorized than light..
Moments of bliss and happiness are still likely to occur,
Perhaps not today perhaps it will take a longer time,
That is what I find very beautiful,
The love of life which rarely is set ablaze by events,
Rejoicing, in the truest bliss alike spiders in their tiny dance,
Forgetting the heavy rain and feeling alive on the highest level,
Even though, it is likely to fade as if it was dust carried away by a gentle breeze of the coming spring, far away till the horizon,
A moment of love can change a persons view of the world,
Motivate them to keep on fighting to experience the sheer amount of joy and happiness carried to them by the purest state of the mind,
Until all the shrapnel of their hearts rejoin and shine beyond the scene, with light coming from above the heavens, golden, free of sin,
And when the sunset ends these cheerful moments, their memories live on, reminding, recalling and pointing out to fight furthermore,
Even though humans stuggle to live wretchedly,
Living,
Is what I find very beautiful.

~ Umi

captive in your web, i stuggle for release
beguile'd by the catacombs of your mind
you lured me, then chamber'd my heart
seduction was an enticing bite of euphoria
then a spun betrayal of being sealed away
stuck in this web'd hollow grotto
your den of iniquity ****** me in
impenetrable and incomprehensible,
this filigree'd labyrinth holds my soul
entangled for an eternity in this maze
i pray for redemption in that end sting,
placate your every whim to set me free

Sometimes it's hard to believe you're suffering.

Through a pain we humans can't understand.

Though with that smile you must wish us not to know.

The pain of loss and suffering you've had to endure.

And sometimes it's as plain as day.

You stuggle to hide the pain but can't.

And you look as though you'll burst into tears.

I wonder how you ever were able to keep it hidden.

And then you smile as if nothing happened.

And though the smile is brighter then the sun,

you still hurt more then anyone will know.

And it seems to hurt even more, every time i see you this way.

You worry so much about everyone else.

You should worry more about yourself.

Sure, i could say the same thing to myself.

But your heart seems to be breaking for others.

I don't want to see that kind of smile.

When you're sad, you can show it to me.

When you want to cry, go ahead and cry.

And when you want to smile, then truly smile.

I keep thinking I did something wrong
But I'm trying so hard.
The internal stuggle to follow my heart keeps howling at me snapping, bitting from the inside
They keep calling, a computer- to tell me my bills are past due.
Where am I suppose to get this money? I've been applying and crying. Dipping into my savings to patch up the glue.
I'm grateful for my loans, I'm looking for work, I say.
I can't go back and wait tables my education will be thrown away, I scream but its never heard:
"Congraduations with your opportunities but you do not qualify for this or that"
An empty good luck as they turn their back.
On the brink, I'm going to sink, the flood, Im drowning...consuming this fire
That's been forcing me afloat.
I want just to let go. I want to hide when I find out He can't even stand by myside.
I'm terrified. I'm worried to the point I sob. Wiping away my tears, shaking my fears.. With no one to help.
I am alone.
I'm trying so hard, I jump up at night. I push the voices out of my head that wake me up from debts and evils unsaid.
Why did I want to grown up so fast when now in my age I'm nostalgic for my past
Oh youth and promise of tomorrow.
A brave face for a little girl looking to take on the world of  green and the red
Of past dues and credit scores, the negative sign in my bank account... The whites of my eyes just red.
All my hopes and yet, I'm so sad.
at least at the end of this poem, it's not all held in, everything that's killing me, everything I'm chain smoking away. It's out and open.
It's alive in me and in you alive enough I will push through.

I imagine you're disappointed in me. I can't say I blame you. It is not my fault that I didn't become the laborer you dreamt I'd be, split palms stung by sweat.  It is my fault, however, that I became nothing at all.
  
  Our family was defined by a cardboard box. Your job was to move them, hundreds an hour. My brothers and I were raised by a box that puked The King Of Queens and censored 90's dramas. My mother buried Polaroids of frozen dance moves and eternal smiles, under fake jewelry in a cheap cherry box.

  And when I carried the box that ate my grandfather, I showed no stuggle, tucked in my shirt, not wanting to embarass you.

  And when I forgot the Sea Bass belt, I promised not to **** myself with, in a box at the ward.

  And when I carried the box that sealed my grandmother.

  And when I burnt the box of letters she wrote from far and away; trying to erase who I was.

  I think I have let you down, father. I can only offer myself the way I'd offer a box: disappointing on the outside with a chance of beauty in the inside, if you're willing to open up.

The old apple tree was happy...happy and strong
He was proud that he has stood in the same spot for so long,
and has been mastering the most devastating storms
while standing tall and always letting leaves sing their favorite song
about how fortunate they were to call the apple tree their home
praising him for surviving all these decades on his own.

One day a man passed by
picked up an apple and straighten his suit
bite in the sour apple and choose to forget his manners and be rude by being unappreciative and throwing away the fruit.

But the apple tree kept smiling eventhough he surely did care
but he knew that life was never fair
So he never let a pair of uncaring people create out of his happiness great despair

Once a leaf asked him how he never lost fun,  
how he kept shining like the sun,
no matter how many bad days he had to overcome

The apple tree smiled and said: "Jusz look and humankind,
look at them for a minute and count how many flaws you will find.
They fumble through life not knowing what to do
Then they stumble over small obstacles on their route
Later they mumble how they never did what they were supposed to
And at the end they crumble because they realize how an unfullfilled life can feel cruel.
I always knew why I am here,
never felt empty never experienced that fear
The only thing is I had always to stay at the same place
unlike the human race who posseses the unmatched ability to move through space
but never utilized it worrying about the problems they wexistence

So how can I not be happy knowing the true meaning of my existence
They eternally talk about brofliance and think that they have to stuggle to get excellence
And now just imagine them knowing what they were here for,  how fast they would expierence the purest form of resiliance

The constant stuggle of a losing battle,

yet a sparkle of hope remains in me,

I'll carry on til I release my final breath,

then happily go to where I should be.

My  time on earth has been full of hopes and dreams,

no regrets have I, just some great memories.

So as I lay my head down to sleep tonight,

I'll not be afraid if I don't wake to see the light.

So please celebrate my life,

don't waste it with tears,

I left with a smile on my face,

and I had no fears.

Now here's a parting gift from me to you,

go out and do all the things you dream to do,

Make your life how you want it to be,

as the future no one can foresee.

Things are skewed in little ways
That we are believed to think everything's okay.
First things first,
Why the hell is it so shocking that my parents are still together?
Why is a normal question "are your parents divorced?"
Is it because a lot of people lose feelings for the first person they married?
Do they love the person or are they bored?
Or maybe one of them finally showed their true colors
In the mindset their partner can't run away.

While we are on marriage,
Why is it okay for some people to love someone
But others can't?
I think you know where I'm going.
Only recently did the marriage discrimination stop.
But in my state, there no breath of fresh air

The ones who seem to love more,
Can't lock their lives together
Just because it's wrong in the eyes of God,
But these people sure weren't preaching when they gossip, lied, or stole

One last thing, is it normal for a college student to struggle?
Why is it normal for them to be thousands of dollars in debt for the rest of their lives,
even when they have scholars ships and finical aid?
Because books and food aren't free,
Older generations critise them
When college student still live with their parents.
Older generations critise them
When they move out and stuggle
In the economic trap that the older generation set.