i don't look at you,
except to steal a sideways glance
from the corner of this dance club
while you lose yourself on the floor

but i write poetry of you,
secret words of secret feelings.
and the musk and dark becomes
a garden in provence.

i would set them to song,
if there is a melody here
that could set you to dance with me
to steal from you a touch.

but you are in another world
of dimmed light and senses
and i can steal only another glance
in my faraway, medieval love

I want to cut you up in little pieces
And scatter you amongst the sky
So you will be reflected in every pool of light
And shimmer like a halo around every face

I want to distill your very nature
Wear it like a perfume on my skin
Letting it permeate my every pore
Seeping
Inside
Me
To my very core

I want to reach inside your chest
To unfasten your heart
And swallow it whole
So it will beat forever in tandem next to mine
Each beat imparting
Every word
You could never say aloud
Love
Want
Need
Mine
Please
Please


Your eyes are by far my favorite
Two sparkling jewels
Hidden like a holy secret
Underneath your veil of lashes
One look and you
Undo me,
Unravel me,
Undress me
Again, again.

Behind my lips
I keep your kiss
My smile suggesting a clandestine wish
Only you possess the key
To unlock me
Turn it slowly
So I may relish the twist of my womb
And the fire that travels up my spine
To light my eyes
So that you will know
What you
Must
Do.

I want to cut you up in little pieces
And scatter you amongst the sky.

Don't leave me,
I swear I won't be able to stand it
there are days when it feel like ***** is filling my lungs
and I am stupid enough to try and take another sip.

You're not just the sun,
You're the whole ******* universe.
I look at you and see galaxies, milky ways and star dust.
Yet I feel like the tiniest little falling star that's ready to burst.

Your laugh that you say is "so annoying"
is like orchestra music to me;
when the violin and cello  intertwine
it's the most divine sound I could ever hear;
every hair on my body stands up
and in that moment I  just kind of, fall in love.

Like that smile, oh that smile.
The way you crinkle your nose,
When you make me laugh like a child
and that tiny little he-he that you giggle back to me.

when you walk away to spend eight hours a day
slaving away to make food for people you don't even know
with people you don't even like.

I just want to throw my arms around you and pull you back,
say, " no. lets go take a nap"
I'll pet your hair and scratch your back.

I love to listen to the stories you tell me
the more I know, the more I become intrigued
I'm infatuated with you, who is so fascinating.

I know I am difficult.
you don't have to pretend like I'm not
instead of telling you that i'm struggling
I sit silently and let myself drown
and I know that I'm pulling you down to,
that's one thing I never want to do

cause without you, where I'd be
is a place where I don't think I could even call myself me.

It ***** that I'm needy,
and i'm sorry I'm so clingy
I'm not use to missing someone next to me when I sleep.
wanting to wake up to see your face
knowing that I can go on with my day.
my lungs won't be filled up
and for awhile I'll be able to smile
not wanting to drown out the pain with sleep or drugs.

Cause I dream about your eyes and I see galaxies
I think about your laugh and I hear music

"Beauuutiful"   ( you always say)
yes you are.      ( I always think)

Maybe read the Author Note first**

\
I won’t be your Romeo,
in fact I refuse to be.
I’m not what's best for you,
I’m not what's best for me.

//
I refuse to be your princess,
because even I can see
you’re not what's best for you,
you're not what's be for me.

\
You won't end up my Juliette
I don't want you to
I don’t want a perfect girl
You’re just right being you.

//
I don't want a knight in shining armour;
I can wield a sword on my own.
I'm not looking for love,
you're just better than being alone

\
I won’t be your king,

//
I can’t be your queen.

\//
But together...

\                                                    //
You will never be my Romeo.     At least we'll be something.

Listen to my voice,
i cry.
Listen to my words.

I may not be blameless
but my love for you is without doubt.

All my life I dreamed,
All my life I searched,
For the one I can give my heart to.

As like a great fairytale.
Starcrossed lovers met, grew and fell in love.

Our love, our bond, our lives.
Quickly all ******* in a big great knot.
A knot which I cherished.
A knot which I thought that cannot be broken.

And so... Like a fairy tale,
I believed in happily ever after.

And so as i thought...

Oh how can I forget?
That mermaid have ursulas,
And princesses have witches.

lurking in shadows,
Lurking behind masks,
Carried apples dipped with poison,

A poison that struck the maidens heart.

Oh how we fell into a chasm,
I do not know.  

Sometimes I wonder,
Sometimes I ponder,
which is You and which is not?

I may not comprehend,
Call me crazy, but I love you anyway.

To the point of desperation,
i shall fight for your heart.
I shall fight for our knot.

And like any fictional fantasy,
My cry is that this, will not be a tale of tragedy.
But will be a tale told from the ancients.

prognosis: passive preoccupation
adulation of vacuous aversion
careless cupid, cleaving cardiac
to the closet consecrated

courtship of wedded hemlock
feasting on desolate devotion
ceremonious shedding of sacred tears
laced with lone loss