i don't look at you,
except to steal a sideways glance
from the corner of this dance club
while you lose yourself on the floor

but i write poetry of you,
secret words of secret feelings.
and the musk and dark becomes
a garden in provence.

i would set them to song,
if there is a melody here
that could set you to dance with me
to steal from you a touch.

but you are in another world
of dimmed light and senses
and i can steal only another glance
in my faraway, medieval love

I want to cut you up in little pieces
And scatter you amongst the sky
So you will be reflected in every pool of light
And shimmer like a halo around every face

I want to distill your very nature
Wear it like a perfume on my skin
Letting it permeate my every pore
Seeping
Inside
Me
To my very core

I want to reach inside your chest
To unfasten your heart
And swallow it whole
So it will beat forever in tandem next to mine
Each beat imparting
Every word
You could never say aloud
Love
Want
Need
Mine
Please
Please


Your eyes are by far my favorite
Two sparkling jewels
Hidden like a holy secret
Underneath your veil of lashes
One look and you
Undo me,
Unravel me,
Undress me
Again, again.

Behind my lips
I keep your kiss
My smile suggesting a clandestine wish
Only you possess the key
To unlock me
Turn it slowly
So I may relish the twist of my womb
And the fire that travels up my spine
To light my eyes
So that you will know
What you
Must
Do.

I want to cut you up in little pieces
And scatter you amongst the sky.

Don't leave me,
I swear I won't be able to stand it
there are days when it feel like ***** is filling my lungs
and I am stupid enough to try and take another sip.

You're not just the sun,
You're the whole ******* universe.
I look at you and see galaxies, milky ways and star dust.
Yet I feel like the tiniest little falling star that's ready to burst.

Your laugh that you say is "so annoying"
is like orchestra music to me;
when the violin and cello  intertwine
it's the most divine sound I could ever hear;
every hair on my body stands up
and in that moment I  just kind of, fall in love.

Like that smile, oh that smile.
The way you crinkle your nose,
When you make me laugh like a child
and that tiny little he-he that you giggle back to me.

when you walk away to spend eight hours a day
slaving away to make food for people you don't even know
with people you don't even like.

I just want to throw my arms around you and pull you back,
say, " no. lets go take a nap"
I'll pet your hair and scratch your back.

I love to listen to the stories you tell me
the more I know, the more I become intrigued
I'm infatuated with you, who is so fascinating.

I know I am difficult.
you don't have to pretend like I'm not
instead of telling you that i'm struggling
I sit silently and let myself drown
and I know that I'm pulling you down to,
that's one thing I never want to do

cause without you, where I'd be
is a place where I don't think I could even call myself me.

It ***** that I'm needy,
and i'm sorry I'm so clingy
I'm not use to missing someone next to me when I sleep.
wanting to wake up to see your face
knowing that I can go on with my day.
my lungs won't be filled up
and for awhile I'll be able to smile
not wanting to drown out the pain with sleep or drugs.

Cause I dream about your eyes and I see galaxies
I think about your laugh and I hear music

"Beauuutiful"   ( you always say)
yes you are.      ( I always think)

Maybe read the Author Note first**

\
I won’t be your Romeo,
in fact I refuse to be.
I’m not what's best for you,
I’m not what's best for me.

//
I refuse to be your princess,
because even I can see
you’re not what's best for you,
you're not what's be for me.

\
You won't end up my Juliette
I don't want you to
I don’t want a perfect girl
You’re just right being you.

//
I don't want a knight in shining armour;
I can wield a sword on my own.
I'm not looking for love,
you're just better than being alone

\
I won’t be your king,

//
I can’t be your queen.

\//
But together...

\                                                    //
You will never be my Romeo.     At least we'll be something.

Listen to my voice,
i cry.
Listen to my words.

I may not be blameless
but my love for you is without doubt.

All my life I dreamed,
All my life I searched,
For the one I can give my heart to.

As like a great fairytale.
Starcrossed lovers met, grew and fell in love.

Our love, our bond, our lives.
Quickly all ******* in a big great knot.
A knot which I cherished.
A knot which I thought that cannot be broken.

And so... Like a fairy tale,
I believed in happily ever after.

And so as i thought...

Oh how can I forget?
That mermaid have ursulas,
And princesses have witches.

lurking in shadows,
Lurking behind masks,
Carried apples dipped with poison,

A poison that struck the maidens heart.

Oh how we fell into a chasm,
I do not know.  

Sometimes I wonder,
Sometimes I ponder,
which is You and which is not?

I may not comprehend,
Call me crazy, but I love you anyway.

To the point of desperation,
i shall fight for your heart.
I shall fight for our knot.

And like any fictional fantasy,
My cry is that this, will not be a tale of tragedy.
But will be a tale told from the ancients.

prognosis: passive preoccupation
adulation of vacuous aversion
careless cupid, cleaving cardiac
to the closet consecrated

courtship of wedded hemlock
feasting on desolate devotion
ceremonious shedding of sacred tears
laced with lone loss

M.S. Capulet it's time to be honest with my self
time to wash my chest out
come clean about all I've really felt
This isn't perfect, isn't close,
but neither was the romance that Speare wrote
feel like a fairytale frog with words stuck in my throat
been trying to speak what i feel but so far only just croak
                    Let me be your romeo...

Dove, you remind me what it's like to fall in love
at midnight like a Montague
you make me want to
throw pebbles at your window
come over late on nights like this when i don't know
because you would't say and you fell asleep
(you thought this might just be a summer thing, some sort of fling)
But I'd do almost anything
to keep you Juliet
no regret, no joke
         I don't think there ever were words big enough for this hope. . .

And the two lovers they were starcrossed
just like my fingers when we started "us"
that night we stargazed but i guess I'm just
afraid we'll shatter into stardust
he climbed but
she would have jumped if he asked
that's us
we're trying to get over our past. . .

I'm not gonna pretend i don't think about the past
that i don't sometimes wish it, but that's just it
we've got this chance and i'm not gonna miss it
we've got this time and i'm not gonna twist it around
I've got an ugly purple scar across my heart, will you kiss it now?
It's been far too long trying to get this off my chest
but let's write our own tragedy,
       hell, romance is a mess, miss. . .

we spent our lives on opposite sides of the same room
we spent our lives on opposite sides of the same coin
we spent our lives on opposite sides of the same war
these days i wish i could cross the threshold
these days i dont want you to die

You and I
A story unknown to the world
But felt by the universe
Every time we were together.

You and I
A love lost
But still alive somewhere
In the corner of our hearts.

You and I
Two roads that run side by side
But never meet.

You and I
Two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle
That never fit.

You and I
A secret buried deep in our hearts
That will never be revealed.

You and I
A blurry memory in our minds
That will perhaps one day be forgotten with time.

You and I
Two lost souls
That yearned for each other
But never found a way to one another.

You and I
A story that was never written in the stars
But still burned the brightest in our lives.

not just in the way I saw you
you're farther than venus
my celestial heart
-she's  not even nominal

the thoughts dancing in my brain
fermenting in the pit of my heart
I pick at that heap
-starcrossed & lonesome

love is not just a feeling
it's a perfume we bathed in
we soaked in
-we loved in




but the scent washes away
no longer a distinction
no longer a dizzying coat
-like we never soaked at all.

It's cold outside
no one to walk down the road with
am all alone
a little girl that has lost her way
had everything taken away.
there is no hope for tomorrow
no sun for the morrow
only rain on the windowpanes
a rushed coupling
goodbye forever.

They are starcrossed lovers
together but apart.
ever yearning and praying
that the sun would give more
a few extra hours
to laugh and to cuddle.
sneaking around in the shadows
wishing on a star
that fate would switch them over
give them forever.

You've heard the stories, seen the plays.
Felt the love and loss of these stories we sell for pennies everyday.

Romeo and Juliet, young and tragic, bound by blood, a tale as old as time and a reason to care, to cry, to love, to fight for and come back to.

You can sell these stories to tabloid trash on a Friday for the nightly entertainment. You can sell these stories to your family and friends because everyone loves a good underdog story.

I've heard this story before, I've watched it on the silver screen and I often wonder if that'll be me someday. Someday any day, any day but today- or at least she says so.

Carved names on a tree for a hundred years and a hundred years before, the dates speak true and now here as a mark that this story is as old as the trees themselves.

You've lived these stories.

i'll open you up
and unfold you like a map of the world
           i can tell from the line that runs faintly
           from your forehead and dark down
           the centre of your lip
           you haven't been opened in
                       a long time
and i'll be careful not to tear you at the seams
as i read like roads and state lines your dreams
           i'll breathe in everything we are
           starcrossed - anxious and waiting to start
           until im tasting you from the front of my mind
           to the back of my tongue

microscopic turmoil
a distruption in the ripple of time
somehow the stars have aligned
a chaotic miracle, a change of destiny
the love story of two starcrossed lovers
with an ending never here before witnessed
the inmorata and inmorato no longer have to hide their amour
starcrossed lovers have become star aligned
oh what a waste of a beautiful time.

the world outside is a treacherous place,
where evil lurks in every race.
doubt threatens to **** the deepest belief,
and the pain of loss comes with no relief.
there is no refuge below or above,
with the exception of the refuge of love.
love is capable of amazing powers;
love with stay with you until late hours.
true love’s flame will never grow cold,
it keeps burning hot even when it grows old.
in the case of two lovers, starcrossed and secret,
they’re, sadly, oppressed and told they can’t keep it.
some don’t know what happens to a covered flame:
the flame becomes hotter, just as lovers grow untame.
but love stays with you through all the struggle;
love with not leave you in the times of trouble;
love makes dull life’s hardships, it numbs the pain;
love doesn’t care what you’ve done, even the insane;
love will not leave you, whether in the dark or the light;
love sticks with you through the day, it’s beside you at night.

a rare death.
a year and a half old child
smothering in the wallpaper
burning in the bright lights
wise to the curve of her frame
and another's.

a year and a half old teenager
smoking disobedience in cold bedrooms
aching fists with hearts beating in them
bloodied kneecaps
and discarded underthings.

a year and a half old adult
thighs that bled
welcoming her into womanhood
ringed fingers leading her through the commonplace gates
yanking her by her wrists forward.

a rare death.
a child,
a teenager,
an adult,
a starcrossed lover
cursed with the blood of mother
losing memories like they are guitar picks
or socks
or cherished toys.
losing them because they are important
or needed
or wanted
losing them because growing up is a loss
losing them because loss means you're no longer a loser...

losing them because the memory is too dear to hold onto.

a rare death
of a very commonplace life
guided through a very commonplace gate
by a very commonplace boy
who bestowed upon her
graciously
her un-
virginity.

"Your addiction and you are in love,
Not starcrossed"

And it's a tango I'm so familiar with,
Outside my mother's house, or my dorm room,
Or my apartments in Bellevue and Anaheim.
I know the steps, I know the rhythm,
That first drag of a cigarette,
That first sip of plum wine, or ***, or whisky, or beer,
That ancient gut-longing for someone who isn't here
I know the chords to the opening song,
Even to the older, pining songs which are long-gone
Now finely-tuned to my latest loss,
I give up, I give up, and I pay for it
No matter the cost

It could be a waltz, or a samba, but it's just deep-set lust
And though women usually come out on top in Tango,
I know I'll never win

So it's just a tango, that dance with death
Because I can't leave it be, at least *not yet

Only when she leaves. Only when she's lost. Will you come to realize, you are starcrossed.

Something about the beat of her heart
Reminded her that she was alive
was that thrill she felt or was it terror?

Something about his eyes
reminded her of a hunter watching prey
she couldn't look away from him.

Something about how he cared
reminded her that she was fragile
he cared more than she wanted him to
He pushed her beyond her defenses.

Something about the way he said no.
reminded her that it was his choice
If she lived or died,
if she was going to be happy
it all depended on when he said yes.

Something about the way he made love to her
reminded her that she was a part of him
he owned her, controlled her, took her
he didn't ask, just took. And she gave.
Over and over and over until they lost themselves.

Something about this,
reminded her of that.
They were soulmates.
They were starcrossed lovers.

They say we lost love
They say we lost out
We must be crazy for letting go a thing so good

They lie
Our hearts slither out our yearning bodies
Coloured their way to the skies
There they'll always stay.
Kissing the sky

We're right were we belong
This physical realm was too low for us to belong
Divine love,Cosmic emotion
Starcrossed lovers

twenty-three.

the identity of my great starcrossed lover is obscured,
a rotted-through shell
rocks back and forth
on wood floors behind.

i'm deep down inside
with notes tacked on my spine.
the writing desk of God
you will find pages and pages about it
you will find a poem by a girl
who ran off to become
destiny itself.

tirelessly our bodies tried
to prove love either wrong or right
now i'm a rising sphere of warm ocean water
and she is approving his spirit by night.

!

that is the body of Christ
a volume of works by Sir Charles Dickens!
an insanity that plagues
Only worthiest victims

i'm confused as other worlds
pour into you
and you fold outside-in
with all new landmarks
on your sacred skin...