Clenched
Like a fist
The heart startles in its cage.
Overwhelmed eyes
Stutter in recognition.
Snowflakes
Of fear
Melt and drip
Down the spine.
With a cough,
Dust is blown off
That old tender feeling
Which is kept
Locked
In a box
At the base of the throat.
Words
Of both
Hate and grace
Beat against the
Barricade of teeth,
But are swallowed swiftly
By the tongue.
Another beat
Of the heart
And the moment is gone.
With battered teeth
And grubby lungs,
Usher in
The oxygen.
With a bruised heart
And weary eyes,
Move on.

I never loved you for who you were
I loved you for who you could be
The light within the darkness that seemed
Inescapable, impenetrable, inexorable.

“Will you always love me?”
“Of course.”
I don’t think you lied
I think you didn’t understand the question

I spent so long waiting that I withered away
Frozen in the snow
You fell in glistening flakes all around me
I held out for the warmth that you could never truly give
Try though you did

“I’m sorry.”
I looked into your eyes,
The one part of you that could never lie,
And all I saw was the truth.
It would have hurt less if you were insincere.

I never said you were a mistake at all.

I want to cut you up in little pieces
And scatter you amongst the sky
So you will be reflected in every pool of light
And shimmer like a halo around every face

I want to distill your very nature
Wear it like a perfume on my skin
Letting it permeate my every pore
Seeping
Inside
Me
To my very core

I want to reach inside your chest
To unfasten your heart
And swallow it whole
So it will beat forever in tandem next to mine
Each beat imparting
Every word
You could never say aloud
Love
Want
Need
Mine
Please
Please


Your eyes are by far my favorite
Two sparkling jewels
Hidden like a holy secret
Underneath your veil of lashes
One look and you
Undo me,
Unravel me,
Undress me
Again, again.

Behind my lips
I keep your kiss
My smile suggesting a clandestine wish
Only you possess the key
To unlock me
Turn it slowly
So I may relish the twist of my womb
And the fire that travels up my spine
To light my eyes
So that you will know
What you
Must
Do.

I want to cut you up in little pieces
And scatter you amongst the sky.

You were beautiful
          You hold the heavens in your eyes
You spoke to me just once
          Saying hello in that condescending way you do
I brushed your arm
          I lied and said it was by accident
I watched you walk away
          Relishing the way that you move
You turned back around
          As I knew you would
Smiling slightly,
          Just ever so slightly, and just for me
You nodded once
          Your hair falling in whispers across your forehead
I recognized the look you wore,
          I wore it too
You were thinking of who we once were
          The memories like fire, lighting up your eyes
I smiled back,
          Just slightly and just for you
Then you turned back around and left me behind
          Not for the first time
And I turned around and left you behind
          *For the first time

She awoke with a start,
There was a presence in her room.
He smiled at her gently,
With grey eyes
He beckoned her.
His movements were fluid,
And reminded her of the wind.
When he disappeared she flew from her bed,
Out of her house,
Into the night.
She didn’t feel the rocks as they jabbed into her feet
As she ran blindly,
Following only the silver of his skin in the full moon light.
He came to a stop at the precipice of the crag,
Above the grey-green sea.
He turned his head slightly,
Smiling sweetly,
Those grey eyes once more beckoning.
The sudden gale didn’t seem to blow him off the rocks,
But instead scoop him up.
She gasped, and reached out instinctively for him
She didn’t want to be left behind.
A few short steps
Brought her to the cliff edge.
She tilted her head
Towards the inky black sky,
Closed her eyes
And lifted her feet,
Letting the wind scoop her up.

She slips into the trees
He trails after her
A shadow
As silent as the mist that saturates the morning
Her corn silk hair billows in the impish breeze
He snatches an airborne strand that has broken free
And swallows it
She seems to dance through the forest
Taking slow swaying steps
Hips swinging
Hands fluttering
Across every bush
And every tree
They are precious to her
He touches each in turn
They become precious to him
She stops beneath the dogwood tree
His heart lurches as she faces him
White petals float around her
Kissing her cheeks
Skimming across her clavicle
To pile at her feet
He watches her intently
As he takes calculated steps towards her
She seems only intrigued
When he stops but an inch from her
She ***** her head
She does not understand
The hunger in his eyes
The moisture on his lips
The heaviness of his breath
Or why she likes the molten fire
That has erupted in her stomach
He shakes as he reaches out
To touch this beguiling creature
No longer a shadow
And suddenly this frightens her
She backs against the tree
Its bark rough
Like his fingertips
He begins to cry
As he presses himself against her
And alleviates his ache
She begins to cry
As she kisses him
Again and again
She still does not understand
And mourns the loss
Of make-believe and pretend

The fractured pieces of our lives
Are scattered before me on the floor.
I can see the pieces as they’re meant to be,
Forming a map of the passing years
That always leads back to you:
Birthday cake and bicycles
Grunge rock bands and Halloween costumes
The ocean breeze and movie nights
And smells with no names because they only belong to you.
But the pieces will not fit together anymore
The edges are ripped and burnt.
My hands are as big as yours now;
I trace the lines and wonder
If you can feel it, like a shiver in your soul.
If your body aches for the familiar weight of my own
To press against your chest.
These memories grow painful
Wounds that will never fully heal
I pick up the pieces
And place them back in the box marked
“Pandora.”
Once more, its time to
Disconnect.