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I remember when you weren't,
Always in my head,
And I didn't over dissect,
Everything you said.

I remember when we laughed,
Because you were just a friend,
And I did not know that this would start,
Much less when it would end.

I remember the first time we touched,
When it meant something more to me,
But I was sure you didn't feel,
That small jolt of electricity.

I remember how I fell for you,
Despite how hard I tried,
I just wanted to convince my heart,
That you had only lied.

I remember when I saw those words,
Lit up on the computer screen,
But it felt too good to be true,
Looking back; was it only a dream?

I remember the way you first kissed me,
On that cold October night,
The shiver that ran through me,
Because it felt so right.

I remember when you held my hand,
As we walked down the hall,
And it didn't matter what people said,
You didn't care at all.

I remember the day it ended,
When everything seemed just fine,
You kissed me goodbye and I really thought,
That you were still only mine.

I remember when you told me,
That it was too hard for you,
So I sat and cried because,
I didn't know what to do.

I remember accepting the fact,
Friends were all we would be,
But for some reason I still thought,
That maybe you had actually cared about me.

I remember when I saw you two,
And I looked the other way,
Because it hurt to look at you,
And see that you were okay.

I remember how I missed you,
I still do but the days come and go,
And the less your memory hurts me,
The more I'm able to let you go.
I know there’s a woman out there right now crying her eyes out
Gave her all to a fool & he just let her down
I know she gotta be feeling like she’ll never be good enough
Like she’ll never meet a man that’s loyal enough
Another sleepless night, another case of deja vu
Thinking what she did to deserve the pain he put her through
She never had real love, only met fools who wanted her goodies
Pretending to be a King when he’s only sweet talking to get her cookies
Here we go once again, your heart suffered another tragedy
Getting shot down by love again, facing another sad reality
I can hear your heart crying & it makes me cry when I listen
Hearing the things it’s experiencing & steady thinking something’s missing
You wanna be loved but *** seems like the only thing that we really seek
Feeding you a bunch of lies & never practice what we preach
I know you must feel like it’s end of the world & you’re single forever
But somebody’s gonna love day & treat you 10x better
I know you’re tired of the games that us men are always running
Beating around the bush fronting like we don’t want nothing
I hear those tears you cry, that’s I wrote this letter
Somebody’s gonna love you one day & become your Forever
Every mistake in love has a lesson to teach
This clowns aren’t the one for you, that’s why they got impeached
Somebody’s gonna love you, just gonna take time before you find em
Loving you isn’t gonna easy but you gotta take the time to guide em
I know you feel like you ain’t good enough & that I understand
You’re mixed up in a society where there’s more players than man
So used to the clowns that a real man just might scare you
All these lessons love’s teaching you are only gonna prepare you
For when you finally meet the one then your world begins to light up
Love is getting your perfect match ready so please never give up
Somebody’s gonna love you & I know that’s hard to believe
But when the right one comes, no matter how hard loving you may seem, they’ll never leave
 Oct 2017 Anna Falls
Nathan Young
The summer heat seems to persist, despite
the allegations of a calendar portraying Fall.
I sit upon a balcony, amongst groups
chattering about their life experiences.
Each individual wearing loose clothing
with neutral colors to avoid perspiration.
I wish I had gotten the memo.

It seems only fitting that I wear
a maroon button-up flannel.
“You’re torturing yourself in this weather!”
Perhaps I just fancy masochism;
my penance for a divine absolution.
Its constraints prove difficulty
as I try to catch a breath of life.

There’s a certain wistfulness to being
an outcast-of-all-trades.
I do desire some sort of social interaction,
but the lack of small talk is definitely freeing.
Who would require this form of communication?
A complete lack of substance of individuality
whereas I’m waiting patiently and hungrily.

They say a healthy temperature is 98.6,
but if I’m constantly a degree or two less,
am I less inclined to be living?
Perhaps it’s the lack of compassion
that causes my blood to turn thicker.
If I may inquire a further inspection,
I’d say I’m in a dire need of a hug.

Meaningless words drown out the silence
as if we should listen to respond.
We form a sentence before the rant is done
and with utilization of reactionary banter,
our hurt emotions are forever lost.
Deep down, we just want a listener to understand.
Please, talk some sense to me.

A couple across from me is sharing
what looks like a strawberry wave smoothie.
The simplicity and beauty tugs
the strings of an aching, irregular heart.
They’re laughing. They’re smiling. They left.
I could sense love in the air,
all the while I sit here, telling myself

“Maybe one day.”
 Oct 2017 Anna Falls
Victoria
You're gone
And I'm mad
Sad
Frustrated
Lonely
I miss you
And heres another birthday gone
7 years
And it has been so long
And yeah
I'm crying
Still playing back you dying
While everyone here is making a big deal
And all I want for my birtbday
Is one last meal
 Oct 2017 Anna Falls
Theresa
MeToo
 Oct 2017 Anna Falls
Theresa
I’m the most complicated person when it comes to saying what I want. But I know exactly what I want. Although getting that is beside the point what I want is to move at my own pace. There is so much pressure in there needing to be a decision and rushing into a commitment before there's even a true connection. I'm looking for any excuse to not fall for someone because deep down I'm not ready and the loneliness will never be as strong as the respect I have for myself. A body next to me at night will never fill the void. There's something bigger than a chance at love that is holding me back. It could be that my heart was broken enough to break me, my body used like a lifeless blow up doll without a choice time and time again by too many, by giving myself to only one and be taken by one, two, three, four, five. To be beaten for half of my young life and held down, degraded, ashamed of the skin I lived in and voice I spoke. The numbers are too much to fathom but I am worthy of love but not before I let go and love myself… #MeToo
This may not be poetry to you but to me, being vulnerable and telling your story is what it's all about. Though I can't go in to detail about all five, this is a stepping stone in the healing process of what began at the age of 14. The 12 years of an abusive marriage and relationship and the few years following where freedom was also my prison. I'm now open to loving myself for the first time.
I don't value I treasure.
I either tiptoe or run.
No need for me to measure,
My thoughts aren't feathers, they're tons.

My worries, they aren't waves,
They're frightening hurricanes,
I don't hurt for hours,
I always hurt for days.

I do not try to bandage,
I only aim to heal.
I don't admire lightly,
I see endless appeal.

Moderation's not my friend,
Maybe I'm all or none,
But at least there is no question,
I don't like, I love.
 Dec 2016 Anna Falls
Love
I'm done repressing my gayness
Because it's the "Christian" thing to do.
I will wear ******* rainbow ****** pasties
And march in a pride parade
If I please
And then go to church and praise Jesus
And God and the Holy Spirit
For making the way I am
And how I am
Because he made me perfect.
I am gay
I am Christian
I am proud to be both.
I feel like a folded symbol,
inside the chipped-cherry boxcar
that is my damp, June mind.

A fetus seizing in the womb,
hooked up like a cheap monitor.
A foreign strandedness, wrapped
by a boa of dark country back roads
and sterile air skipping across grass.

If I stop, If I sleep
the sweat seeps from my pores
like a sterling grey squad,
oxidizing in the fog,
swimming around headspace,
guns melting with claymation cheeks,
howls into the night, darling deadbirds.

I am now happy and remember
only other happy memories.
Over a decade of depression
and now this.

I feel unfinished, unwanted
by the quickness of life.
I feel like a grain
caught in a gust so swift,
I may never adjust.

I, the empty-headed boy,
causing jet-black glass
to appear on sand,
to remove my footprints,
and incase them, phantoms.
Hyrcule my boy, whom I love:
You are nothing but a burial,
time, your shovel.
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