I have thee best relationship
With my *******.
Best purchase of my life y'all
I dont even know anymore, man
Yesterday I thought about you
El Taxi was played at the gay bar
And I thought of you
I was your first kiss
You weren't out to your parents.
I can't believe you left, that you chose to leave.
Im sorry that you felt you had to die.
I'm so so sorry..
I'll never forget how you taught me how to dance bachata.
You were beautiful.
You were so smart and kind.
I miss you and I'm sorry you felt like you needed to die.
I'm so sorry Icel
Why is it so hard to write poetry when I'm happy?
When I'm content?
When I'm gloriously in love?
Is it a requirement that I be in rage, in sorrow, in pain?
Drunk? High? Comatose?
Can I just not find the right words to describe my feelings?
Or maybe I don't need this outlet when I'm happy. I don't need to cut my emotions from my chest and attach them to words. I want my emotions here with me.
Looking back at these poems
Years since the first
I have amnesia.
Is this what time does?
Heals you in such a way that you can't pin point which heart break or what person you were talking about?
What was I doing this year? What happened that year?
I know my life but the time line no longer exists.
I have amnesia.
You shouldn't do this to someone who loves you.
To someone who is trying to love you.
You've forgotten how this felt.
How it felt to have a person you love so dearly
Walk away when all you needed was someone to talk to
Walk away when all you needed was someone to love.
And you were loving them.
You've forgotten the pain
to be traumatized
to be numb
to be hopeless.
And nothing but pure rage can get you up in the morning,
To stop you from crying in order to go to class.
You forgot that you've been through something like this.
That once, a long time ago, you went through the same manipulation,
The same heartbreak.
You nearly ended your life then, and now all you can do is try to not go down the path.
No one can save you except yourself,
But you've forgotten.
The person who this poem is about, may read this. If they do, they will know right away it's about them.