i am not a poet for you,
for the words i write come from
the deepest parts of me
spilling out like a river,
a never ending stream of
words falling grasping and drowning
i am not a poet for you,
these words do not sing for you,
you do not get to hold and touch
and squish and shape them to your desires
i am not a poet for you,
my words and pain belong to me, they are mine

— i am not a poet for anyone but myself // a.

“i love you”
those words
                      d
                         r
                           i
                             p
                               p
                                 e
                                   d
                                      from his lips
i believed his deceitful manner
his charisma, it was alluring

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

While I would lay on your chest
Your lips pressed against my neck
As your fingertips drew on my back
I would always quietly ask you
What you were writing
You would smile
Which I would feel travel from my throat
To my soul
And gently say my full name
But with your last name

I named my flowers
After you.
After all, there's strong resemblance -
Both of you are made of plastic,
Colorful and fake.

I named my onions
After you.
After all, there's strong resemblance -
Both of you had made me weep,
Blinded by the burns.

I named my scissors
After you.
After all, there's strong resemblance -
Both of you have torn apart
Endless hearts of paper and people.

I named my coffee
After you.
After all, there's strong resemblance -
Both of you held my consciousness
Captive in your hands.

I named my one-night
After you,
After all, there's strong resemblance -
Both of you took what you wanted
Then took off and never looked back.

I named my poems
After you.
After all, there's strong resemblance -
The amount of pain that you both made me go through,
Is just how far
I've grown.