I try to help, but cant.
I try making her happy, useless.
I think about long walks down the road,  endless talks, giggling and goofing but its too late.
I think about just making her smile like I used to, but cant, nothing to smile about any more.
Im worried because she is worried.
Im sad and depressed, because she is sad and depressed.

But...
she doesn't notice the good times like I do.
The smiles I get from her,
The love I embrace from her,
The joy I get from her,
The life I live... Because of her.
             I know im a disappointment
That im broken
In debt
Joy *******
Lazy
Arrogant
Stubborn
Grouchy
Selfish
....boyfriend that only really asks to have you sleep next to me in the bed because having your beautiful smile to wake up to, makes it all worth it.
I love you, and all that you do for me. Im sorry im this way, but believe me when I say I try baby, im still trying and ill never give up, im sorry you fell in love with...
A broken man.

Somewhere, right now, soulmates are meeting.
Somewhere, right now, lovers are departing.
Somewhere right now, a lonely man is sipping the last drops of his fifth bottle.
Somewhere, a daughter is watching her father drive away for the last time.
Somewhere a little boy sits with a therapist locking words under his tongue.
Somewhere a blade is being introduced to raw flesh.
Somewhere, right now a young life is being put in the ground, with a psychiatrist pondering at what he could have done to save her.
Somewhere right now, pettles are being ripped from flowers by hearts wondering if they're loved.
Somewhere right now a nurse is changing the sheets on what used to be a death bed.
Somewhere right now, a ship is sinking into the bottom of deep waters that don't promise revival.
Somewhere right now someone is crying out to a God who doesn't exist to listen.
Somewhere right now hands are being held in the back of churches in remembrance of loved ones gone.
Somewhere a song is playing that brings tears to the eyes of ones who haven't lived long enough to feel.
Somewhere letters are being sent to houses that are vacant.
Somewhere doors are being shut in the faces of those who have never known what its like to crave loneliness.
Somewhere there are all these things.
I'm here, you're there.
I don't know where there is; but its lucky to have you.

It seems sometimes that depression has no cure,
you just can't be happy and people call you immature.
People just don't seem to realize that this won't go away overnight,
the thoughts and feeling hold onto you so tight.
People always think that everything's for attention,
but what they don't realize is that it's like you are stuck in an invention.
People just don't understand how this really feels,
they think that calling 999 would make all of this heal.
The truth is I am not the person I used to be,
I used to be happy and energetic which you just can't see.
I do my best to hold back and pretend,
like everything's okay and this will mend.
It's easy for people to say you'll get over it,
but they don't realize that all you want to do is quit.
You just can't bring yourself to think about the future,
because in moments like these you count yourself as the loser.
You can't sleep because you think about what happened,
this is not at all as you imagined.
But you know in your heart that you can get through this,
all the bad things that happened you just need to dismiss.
You just have to remember that your not the only person going through this struggle,
you know that you will find the light at the end of the tunnel.

There's plenty reasons

You'll never love me

My body is one

It's far from the best

It's one of the worst

Also I'm not pretty

All the other girls are

I'm not very clever

Not compared to you

I'm just average

I don't stand out

I have loads of spots

That not even make up

Can cover up

I'm not at all popular

Not many people like me

They'd rather spend their time

Making fun of me

I'm not very tanned

Instead very pale

And everyone likes tanned skin

With slim bodies to match

We both know I have none of that

My eyes aren't perfect

So don't look too close

My personality doesn't stand out

I can be very quiet

Or at times very loud

Loose strands in my hair

Fly everywhere

Loads of split ends

You are just my friend

I'm stuck in the friend zone

I don't like myself

So I don't know how you'd cope

I'm lucky to have you

Just as a friend

But I can't help wanting more than that

So reasons why you'll never love me

There's more than a few

Those are some of them

But don't worry there's more too

This friend I have is one I know
She would never want to go
Something's burning from inside
I can't bear to let it hide
Another moment, I fear the worst;
I decide to tell her first

Searching for courage, but it's tough;
I don't think I have enough
Finally, I say the words
Though every single sentence hurts
The fear is cutting through my bones
My heart is beating through my toes

After I have spilled it all
I look up and silence falls
She begins to grab her things
My fresh tears begin to sting
I reach my hand out for a touch
She flinches and says "You're ******* up"

I can't believe what I've just heard
But I remember every word
Clear as crystal inside my head
I'll be silent forever instead
I can't do this anymore;
I feel my heart slam shut its door

She ran fast away from me
She didn't even hear my scream
I kick, I cry, I pound my head
I can't believe I've lost my friend
This friend was one I thought I knew;
She walked out right on cue

I keep losing a piece of myself every time I feel unworthy of your time,
          then I realized it’s not you, it’s me wasting my time in pleasing you.
      So I stop and pick-up the pieces of what’s left,
                  for me to move on and start caring for myself.