sometimes, i have this desire,
or maybe a wish
(i can't tell you the difference),
of one day.
one day that might never happen,
or ever become reality,
since its so out of the bounds of it.
after a long day of something,
or nothing, or everything,
i'll fall asleep
clinging to the darkness of my mind
and the dreams that pull me to bed.
then, i'll wake up
somewhere different as someone different.
as though what and how i've lived
has only been imagination,
something i conjured up for fun.
i don't know what that says about me
to imagine such a dream,
or wish for such a day,
but i guess my wishes are different than most.

you said you were coming
you didn't respond to me all day
it was as if I was talking to a wall,
like you left your personality at home

you're very different now
i don't think you're interested anymore
your personality is a butterfly without color
i feel as if something is wrong

is it me? are you not happy anymore?
why do you do this to me?
you make me think that you changing is my fault,
but of course i'm there to take the blame
i always am

Hi, it's me again. I'm sorry for still bothering you after all this time, but I can't help myself from picking up my phone and text you, because that's what I used to do all the time whenever I wasn't occupied. When I don't think of anything, I think of you. No, scratch that. I don't think of you only when I'm alone at 3 AM, I do too when I'm busy and stressed out with my job during the day. Even until now. I don't know if you still think of me though, after all it seems like you're really in love with her. Please take care of her and treat her as good as how you used to treat me, and I hope she'd treat you much better than how I used to treat you back then. I still regret all the words left unspoken inside of my head the moment you said you couldn't do it anymore and decided to walk away. I was shocked and sad, yet I couldn't say anything because I know I've always been the selfish one. It was all my fault. I ruined this. In that moment, all I could think was to finally stop being selfish and let you pursuit your happiness without being held back by me. Once again, I'm sorry for bothering you like this. I wish you well, because you deserve all the happiness in the world. Please let me know if you need anything from me, I'll be glad to help. You know you can always reach me out in a phonecall away, right? Good night.

*Read at 02:50 AM

I want to inspire people
I want someone to look at me and say
"because of you i didn't give up"