it's that feeling of a thousand ants
roaming around your neck,
your feet, or anywhere.

it's that taste of a new thing,
of a new delicacy your head cannot see.

just the thought of wrapping your thoughts
around how people are able to look at it
shames me.

and i begin to release
whatever hatred you gave me

to all these uncomfortable layers
beneath me.

As I light this third one,
your face came up to my mind.

I suddenly wished that your love is like smoking.
When I desired to let in the smoke,
the addictive nicotine of your love
inside my pitiful tired airbags,
I could easily tell myself
to exhale the white
lung filtered ghost
out of my system,
out of my life.

But your love doesn't work that way.
Love is inking your name on my skin
deep through my bones (if it can).
Living in me, thousands of needle bites
In each second piercing through who i am
for the rest of my breathing years.
And through the pain, your name is complete.
Yet when you leave,

your name, your love,
will remain
in blank ink
on my young
cigarette-fumed
skin.

There are voices inside my head. And for the first time
I realize, they weren't those demons I have believed.
Rather, it was mine. It was me, the whole time.

Prejudices and judgments
I have tattooed by myself,
on myself.
They sting like a thousand needles
puncturing through every bubble of idea
my mind blows.

They imprisoned me.

I have done this with myself.

You *like an insect-
you barely touched my skin
yet I felt your wings
flutter in time with each
of my
heartbeat.

defined by people who
doesn't matter
to either you or me
but we still live
in shadows of their words-
pinned and pained down.

those few little words
uttered by strangers
shook my sanity -
pulling strings and
puncturing the little bubble
caving my mind.

I know they,
their words,
shouldn't matter
but can you blame me
when all the people in my life
are all strangers?

Like everything in this world wounds
Around the thought of us,
Whether pain and touch, or just
Sweet serendipitous moments we shared.

All will be stored inside my little mind,
Never will it be erased, and I know troubles will come but never will
Denying you, my love, be in my vocabulary.

Like all the stars, in rainbow colours hidden
Under and over thousands of horizons meeting
Seemed nothing, beside you, dear, I will forever feel
H**eavenly around our intertwined bodies, and kisses.

tears come down my face.
not a usual thing for a person like me,
born pained, and living numb.
all i want is to run from all that i am,
and all i ask is that will you come with me?

but my fear is that, you will say no. like
everyone else. no one ever stayed,
and
i got a feeling that I, myself,
want to leave this body of mine.

what you said is that we are the same,
dying inside, smiling outside.
no one will ever know the difference between us,
but i do, i really do.
i would give all my veins
and bleed for you,
but you wouldn't take a scratch for me.

the dream of mine to go away with you
will remian mine, and never shared with you.