once upon a time, on this lone isle
Before you came along, I only knew the definition of "I" and thought happiness was a taste I'd never experience. My life was a monotonous routine of black-and-white I didn't want interrupted but I always wondered why nobody stayed after the first "hello". Maybe it was the way the grey clouds hung above my head, or the way I breathed in chemicals and toxic the same way they breathed in the morning air as it wakes up with them.

2. i only knew the color grey until i saw your smile
Then you came, barrelling in with the missing "you and" piece to add to my vocabulary in the palms of your hands. You added colours to my colourless days and my routine changed when I find myself turning around to see this wide-eyed child standing before me with that impish grin; I'd never forget that day. You drove the storm away with every footstep you took closer to me while the sun and clear, blue skies followed you around as if they're attached to you and I don't stop you.

3. suddenly love songs began to play
Somewhere along the lines of "my life changed because of you" came poems dedicated to you and my favorite was about the times cuddled up with you, feet tangled, under the bedsheets with your lips burning my skin with passion. Your voice was my lullaby every night and I was your shelter from the shadows. Little things like a peck on the forehead and a hug from the back followed by a light squeeze was better than romantic dinners or bouquets or roses.

4. i should've known your heart would stray
Your fingers would splay out to the open sky, wondering why we were unable to grasp at the world when my world was having your arms around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder and cheek pressed against mine. Maybe that was when I should've noticed you wanted to explore the galaxy but I was keeping you trapped within the chambers of my heart. I should've noticed how your heart began to wander and how the shadows from my fingertips began to strangle the sun in you.

5. our love is not meant for happy endings
The days were growing old and I found myself sinking back to the colourless days while you sat on my shelf along with the toys I used to play with as a child; battered, *****, torn and left to collect dust. I thought I faded back in the old days but for you, it was worse, you were forgotten even in the present. Tick tock, time flew by. I told you that I love you but you told me it sounded like I was saying goodbye and I don't tell you that yours sounded like an apology.

6. how do you say goodbye to the memories?*
And maybe we loved at the wrong time, or maybe we're not right for each other. You never looked back and I'm trying to erase the memories from my mind but I think I may have used permanent marker instead of pencil because they refuse to be erased. Now there's something about the sky and how the grey clouds roll in the same time the wind whispers your name into my mind and the pitter-patter of the falling rain against my window reminds me of the time when I lost you.

I need this, need to write this fantasy
I need to get away from reality
Get away from every suffering
It's too much, until it's choking me

I won't stop, I won't come out from it
I won't stop even when the truth hit
It keeps me alive, keeps me going on
Ignore the times I have been scorned

I'll keep on writing and seep deep inside
I'll write whatever that comes to mind
It's a tough choice I finally made
Even when the scars began to fade

Won't stop, it helps distract me from the pain
I'll keep writing even in the pouring rain
When the sun comes, when it appears
Even when all the pain disappears

It'll come back again and bring me down
It'll come back and deepen that frown
It'll bring tears, it'll make me weep
It'll even make me lose my sleep

They're not worth it so I'll forget them
I'll write the dreams I once had dreamt
The dreams don't make me cry like they do
Nor leave me alone in darkness too

Write, hand, make those fingers move
It'll save me, I know that it's true
Won't put the pen down, I'll never stop
But I'll let out my tears if I need to sob

Write a fantasy far from this wretched life
It is, after all, better than taking that knife
I'll go into a life better than this
I'll forget about the pain burning on my wrist

I'll write, I'll write all that I can write
Write until my tears have ran dried
Write until the blood had stopped flowing
When I'm done, I'll move on to another story

Fiction, addiction, what's the difference?
Write, even when my fingers had stiffen
You can never take it away from me
I won't stop writing what makes me happy.

All that's on is this fake smile
Lost in darkness on this lone isle
Shattered dreams, unhappy soul
Deeper, deep, as each day goes

Eyes are hollow, cold and bleak
Body trembling, hurt and weak
Broken, done, and on the edge
Voices shouting in the head

Done with fixing, it can't be mend
All that's wanted is the end
It's enough to go insane
So why don't you just end the pain?

Overrated are sleeping pills
It doesn't work, too slow to ****
Jump off buildings from up high
Start to fall for you can't fly

The slash of knife laterally
The wrist is stained, it's really ******
Crossing roads to coming cars
Impact sends you flying far

Turn the shower to the heater
Waiting to be electrocuted
Take that gun, it's time to fire
Do it now, aren't you tired?

In the sea, go sinking down
Don't fight currents, just get drowned
Hang a rope up to the ceiling
Kick the chair off to start swinging

There are many ways to suicide
Which one to take, you decide
It doesn't matter, just that you're gone
You're done trying for so long

There's no one who can help
Even you can't save yourself
So a soft whisper of goodbye on your lips
Is spoken while waiting for Death's Kiss