PRETTY POISON

You try to call me
To make me feel you
Being broiled alive in a turmoil
that I can't.......even breathe

Your profession of love
Yet, permeate the disillusionment of my soul
Now i feel suffocated, utterly suspended in loss  
Sickened by the sight of myself, stuck in this hole.

When you do look at me
It is only with degradation,
I am just a prisoner within myself ,
Your deceit and support is a complete contradiction.

Have I become such a burden to you?
Because my choices in life are against your advice
You can't change who I am, that's who you loved at the start.
Once a burning fire for me, now only a heart of only ice.

The scales are tipped to your side
You are adored and respected by all.
I am the outsider, I'm not disullioned
Now, we can all buy a ticket and watch me fall

Always alone in a room full of people?
What would it mean if no one cared if you ******* died?
Have you ever put yourself in my shoes, even for a moment?
Crying myself to sleep every night, humility taking the place of my pride.

I can't turn back the clock
To alter the damage that has been done to you
I battle emotions and memories that ache, all bottled up inside
Don't worry about being subtle, I can take a cue.

Hear my words, I'll only say them one time
Certainly can't allow you to use me for a doormat or a lame.
I've made mistakes, but I'm an adult willing to take the blame.
You've done your job, I am leaving to end this crying game.

Feel the love inside my heart,
Like you used to before.
Or just end this agony before I end it all.
The pain I feel is churning inside me, deep within the core.

I don't know what to do anymore.
Can't you see I continually apologize for what has been done.
I'm losing my mind and I'm worried that I may do something I will regret.
Like hurt myself or hurt someone else, tired of seeing the barrell of your gun.

Pretty poision or siren you say I am
Such a shame you can't take credit for your own symptoms,  
By poisioning my thoughts you think I'll forget who I am....
So, you can sit there and complain while you **** your thumb.

But, the difference between you and me
Is that I know God is carrying me through these times.
He is the one that will be there with the Book of Life.;
Only God can judge me for every sinful crime.

Should I surrender again?
Sensing your pernicious, reeking breath on my neck....
Stinking like stale beer and nicotine
Does he realize that he is a train-wreck.

**** me harder, i will always say
I must like it when it hurts me this way.
Seeking anger and destruction within my heart of sorrow.
Realizing the detriment to my soul, I won't be here another day.

Inside the depths of my soul,
I must bid you adiew...
When I depart from you forever
I will finally feel brand new.

Apart from you, I am nothing.
Without your touch, I feel alone.
So take me now and partake of all I offer
I am so ready for every part of you
Your soul and your body and your mind.
I am taken aback by your quick wit
and your masculinity, slowly seducing..
Until I am panting with passion..

Your lips are like delicious apples
That are ripe for the picking.
And your body is glistening with dew.
I am forever tasting you and feasting upon your beauty
Until I am sated and am starving no more.
And as I lay back, so satisfied
I realize that without each other, this would never be.

So true, in fact, that I am mesmorized by your presence
And the energy I possess is all directed to you.
I wouldn't call it love, but I could call it amazing.
Listening for the sound of your heart beat
As the blood thumps, thumps, thumps....
You excite me so, there is not any word to describe
The tantalizing touch of your fingertips

And in a rhythm, we sway with the music
All time stops and logic doesn't exist.
There are just the two of us..
We meld together like we were fashioned that way.
Like I was never alone..
Or without you...

In the midst of all the chaos
The bridge to nowhere is full of traffic
And the people are all full of sorrow
But they hide it with their fake smiles

No matter the consequences
We seem to choose the things that damage our souls
Forget the past and engage yourself in the future
Pleased to be happy that the past is over

What can it be that keeps us from joy?
Could it be our own inner turmoil that is fighting against each other?
Or can it be that we really have no other options,
But the road that is laid out before us...

Sick. twisted, tormented in a vague place and time
Keeps me inside these walls, plastered with a black toothed grin
As i see the bright moon reflecting the brightness of the sun
And I realize that I'm only here for a short time.
Always so shiny and new
And there are so many things yet to learn.

So, my spirit will soar to the depths of the sky
And my soul yearns for only you
I'm in a trance that I can't break free from
I realize how strong my feelings for you are real.

So, standing at the crossroads
Again and again
Always makes me smile and ponder
We both started out as soulmates and friends..In the midst of all the chaos
The bridge to nowhere is full of traffic
And the people are all full of sorrow
But they hide it with their fake smiles..

I can only enjoy my time here
Be happy that I can write my pain away
Seeking love, harmony and peace
and always, write my pain away