there was a time when tripping on asphalt
rewarded you a kiss to the broken skin,
a bandaid & a warm hug. the air
often smelled like rain & cut grass
after lunch in the cafeteria

and i always wore
a helmet and knee pads when
i went biking with dad. i felt funny
up until the moment i’d
squeezed my brake too hard
and fallen off my bike.

a thrilling game tag in the front yard under
orange skies of august was
soon quenched by a cold sip of caprisun.
dad sat on a lawn chair
grilling only what could be hot dogs,
meat patties, and bell peppers that i told him i
never really liked eating.

indigo blue only meant one thing:
a long day in the pool
clad in our arm floaties and
goggles and diving into the blue
like we would be doing this
forever & ever.

there was a time when i’d sit
on the pavement
wearing my ballerina sneakers,
watching how kids looked like ants
as they climbed onto the playground,
throwing woodchips at one another.

eating a bucketload of candy
was easier than eating dinner.
when the shadows grew at night
i’d leave the light on for too long
but watching superheroes
over a tub of ice cream was just the cure.
we’d build pillow forts &
take naps in them.

there was a time when the colors
were clear & bright, when movies
made everything feel like magic
and mom’s face was wrinkleless
and dad could stand in the garden for hours
and my brother was busy studying
and i only knew
summer & pillow forts

it’s been a long day
so i’ll just turn in early for the night;
mint toothpaste & detergent & lotion
mix in with the smell of my blankets
as the afterlife waits for me

and i like the way my sheets
wrap & cradle my beat body
like a mummy, tender heart in a jar
basket of eyes & bowl of liver.
the afterlife waits for me.

but i do not rest easy
as i spend the minutes turning
over in my grave,
vision spinning in the darkness
unbound & chaotic

& i can’t help feel the hours
seep into my flesh & bones;
the energy that i want to lack
changes into radio static,
unbound & chaotic

& as i watch the light
out my window change
from black to blue to purple & pink
i wonder if lavender oils
will really help me fall asleep

or the maybe it’ll be the sound of tapping rain,
or maybe if i change my pillow cover
or what if i tried to reset my time
or what if i tried to close my eyes
if i really tried to fall asleep

i can’t help but think
my room is a beast in itself;
electrical hum & emerald blood;
& when everyone sleeps, i am
alive & awake & breathing

the quiet i so desperately lack in the sun
i hate so desperately in the dark
because when i sit here
the world is asleep
and i speak with the moon,
awake & alive & breathing

the words i wished
would come out
of my mouth
tumbled out like
luna moths
and died the
morning after

the roses you got me
on valentines day
at the bottom of
my wastebin
in ashes

i can trace the space
where you were
once hugging me

on a chilly saturday
evening, on a
walk i caught the
whiff of a lonely
cigarette

i can’t help to
be reminded
of you

now i gather your
sweaters in
a laundry basket
your cologne permeates
tears

so when i wash them
i am left wondering

where did your scent go?

A series of numbers in which each is the sum of the two proceeding numbers. This is different than Pascal’s triangle.
The formula is as follows: Fn = Fn-1 + Fn-2, where n >1. It is used to generate a term of the sequence by adding its previous two terms.
Solve the following examples.

1. flowers
    little people in dresses
    dancing in the ballroom
    the world is on fire;
    we bend faster
    when the wind howls
2. hurricanes
    the ocean is quite
    warm
    i let myself
    sink
    the sky rips
    apart
3. pinecones
    in the bed underneath
    a mother
    her children gather
    snow for breakfast
    breakfast in bed
4. spiral galaxies
    the naked eye
    beholds the beauty
    of hands we no longer see
    blinded;
    we are drowning in light

the drive was
one hour
& ten minutes
not including traffic
& accidents along the way

the drive
went through a giant hill,
larger than
a hundred houses
stacked on top of one another

the freeway
lined the jungle
like a strip of lace
on a trim of velvet
only it wasn’t as lacy,
just as pretty as that

& the jungle
looked beautiful
and really took
my breath away:

all the green
and all the trees
lazily looping
about the
whole thing

emerging and then
we were creeping
toward the shore
which was a straight
jagged cut
to the ocean
like where the hairline
& my mother’s forehead
meet

and we cruised
right along the water
just a little
slow at first,
because my mom
is horrible with driving
anything not an suv

and i watched
the great blue
turn to green
against the
great brown
of the rocks
and the terracotta houses

sat right on
the shore
like children
too scared to
go in but like
dipping their
toes

“they’re all
in risk of
a tsunami hazard”,
my mom said
and i simply thought
that maybe they
chose it
for that reason
because the risk
offers a reward
so let them exist

that being said
— i’ve only ever known
land
but i was on the edge
& i wanted
nothing more
than to
leap in.

doors & how they swing so far wide
like the gaping shadow
of a pair of lips waiting...

i wonder if you realized i felt the grace
of your arrow -- brushing so lovingly through
the flesh of my *****
& i couldn’t help but to smile

take it away from me, the flutter in my chest, the
residuals of your golden essence
sitting on the rim of modelos
& passenger seat of my monte carlo

when i watch the neutral tones of grainy film
seep into your oily features
i wish you would smile just a bit more

two lovers draped over this canvas
cast their passionate shadows over bedsheets,
pleasurable touches & a recipe for a sickly afterglow,
burning like the delicate backs of fireflies
bursting like a pearlescent bubble
chased by bitter aftertaste of longing

how i wish you knew
how much you made me feel
how my paints drip like honey
& form the lines that become you

when i breathe again the essence has vanished
like paint thinner on acrylic. honey replaced
with a spoonful of sugar
& i cross the street to meet you

suddenly the memory leaves no trace behind
& i can’t help but to trace the spot
where you once stood

this summer, i witnessed my first thunderstorm.
a flicker of flight or fight and a soft flutter upon the frames
on your skin, i share this moment with the sky.

drinking this can of coca-cola, i am reminded of you
only briefly, as brief as the bubbles fizzle to the
surface, and catch a glimpse of a life beyond their own

”do we ever catch a glimpse beyond what we know?”
like taking in the first smell
of freshly washed laundry. breathe it in with me.

i know it lasts as long as we know it. eating away
until it becomes a void in a carcass; i begin
missing a piece of myself in someone else.

if only you had told me what you’d been thinking,
what had been missing in yourself.
we are nowhere as close to what we miss in one another.

except when i see you again, the shadows in your eyes
are replaced by the sound of your heart, pounding with gasoline.
i watch you drift away in the sea of bodies, finger on the trigger.

yet i can’t take that away from you so my own greed
fills the place of my heart, reckoning without reason.
we held the world in our palms, infinite and true.

was it because of your fins,
much too brittle for this ocean,
became too soft for me to notice?

please;
let me tell you, dear friend,

i wish you
would have been
more selfish