depression is never blue, nor gray,
nor black and white;
it is seeing colors for what they are
dissolving into one another,
creating beautiful montages
of vivid details...
but their beauty is never
a sight to behold,
you just look past them.
how do you do that-
catch my breath,
stuff it in some glass jar-
as a pet;
watch it grow from a pupa
to a butterfly,
then let it go
just like that?
Light up the sky for me;
because the world down below
is just too unbearable to see.
I wonder why shooting stars
choose to land in here;
if I were them
I would cling to the vast galaxy.
Say that I am right;
And just watch to indulge our eyes.
The world looks so harmless
when everybody shuts their eyelids
and closes their greedy minds.
I wonder what's the reason behind.
Darkness doesn't always mean sullen;
because it is what I anticipate in the morning.
But in order to see through it
I need a little glow-
So light up the sky for me
and let your burdens go.
This was my entry upon signing up in Hello Poetry. All rights reserved 2014.
I saw them lying neatly
Side by side upon the bridge.
Laces untied; socks in a crumpled bundle inside
As if you had just stepped out of them,
As if you had just left them on somebody else's doorstep.
Gingerly, I picked them up.
In the air I let my questions hang.
At what point in your life
Did these blood-red sneakers turn almost white?
Since when did its crisp signature logo
Turn into an unreadable smudge?
Worn out and faded,
Tattered and almost unrecognizable,
I barely knew the thing I was holding in my hands…
Perhaps you were too busy running
To even notice its deteriorating condition?
Never mind the cracks on the surface,
The thinning soles already caked in mud,
As long as they take you away from the darkness
Which seems to follow you everywhere.
For the last time, these shoes have served you.
Brought you in this unlikely place, on this very bridge.
Where you left them lying neatly side by side
As you took the way out, barefoot.
Hoping someone would step into them,
Feel for answers with their own toes.
And finally understand that
There were no haunting shadows in your pursuit
Because all this time
The darkness has always been inside you.
I don't have a medical sickness.
I just want to throw up at your face.
I just want to **** the lead out of a thermometer to poison my vital organs slowly.
I just want to crack my head open to see if it's hollow or not; to see how millions of bland thoughts made its way inside my skull.
I just want to scream at your ears
As if I'm being cauterized... Or amputated... Or flayed by a demented surgeon-
As if strapped on a rusty hospital bed,
In a grimy and abandoned hospital building...
I just want to look at my blood sample under the microscope
to make sure it's not crawling with little red demons.
I just want to throw this bowl of hot soup at your paper-gowned skin when you come to check on me...
If I'm still worth reviving,
Or if I'm still worth killing,
Or if I'm still even worth gazing at.
I just want to lie in bed all day-
Feeling like a boiled carrot;
Feeling like a wet dog drooling away under the merciless sun;
Or a creature with no bones.
Feeling like a wilted flower, lost of all its glory...
I just want to stuff my mouth with so many pills and prescriptions,
And pretend to like the idea of dying, self-induced.
I just want to sweat this fever out.
I'm so sick of myself.
A poem I made last year.
Depression is not a phase
This is a point i want to raise
Sufferers, do not seek attention
As the stigma likes to mention
Its a mental condition
Just as harmful as an addiction
And take it serious
*Depression is not a phase
~ my generation have degraded depression from being a mental illness to a way of seeking attention and the seriousness of the condition seems to have been lost an them (myself being part of this group)
Id like to re establish the seriousness that it actaully holds
anxiety comes as a haywire mind
a situation in your head
worlds away from everyone
scared to be anyone, much less yourself
but most of all
and it never really leaves.