my heart has learn'd
but not my mind
memories flood through,
causing pain and sorrow
that which was once joyous
is now a shadow in my brain
why is it that a thought
can bring me to my knees?

I sometimes am afraid
To go outside
Because there is a high chance
Of being trampled by elephants

They roam the streets
Seemingly peaceful to the untrained eye
But these elephants can turn on a dime
And crush you underfoot

The only way to be safe around them
Is to wear an elephant mask
And crush the mask-less with them
Filling you with guilt

I sometimes am afraid
To go outside
Because there is a high chance
Of being trampled by elephants

A floral mat
Separates me from
The tile floor
I feel anxious despite the peace

The instructor speaks
My heart stops
Because I know
The chest binder can’t hold
Through another downward-facing dog

Heaviness
The weight on my chest
Excessive flesh
A distinctive sign
Separating me
From the other men in the room

This is a suicide note
From the person you thought I was.
From the girl, from the woman, and
From the person who used bathrooms without a ******.

“If you are reading this
Then I am dead.
It was inevitable.

I would have died either way.
The only variable was
Whether or not
He died too.”