how will he learn to write again
when words fail to reach him?

will he hold on to the same old words
which stuck to his pen rendering a mess?

will he reach to whichever combination of senseless vowels and consonants that appeals his voice
yet mutes the message he cannot even word?

will he break himself again to wring out the wild letters of emotion waiting to break free to splatter his paper crimson?

or will he just force a rhyme to make his paper black-and-white colorful?

ever heard of the tax collectors?
yes, the ones from the Bible.
the ones frowned upon just by hearing their names.
the stories of St. Matthew, Zacchaeus. both tax collectors and both redeemed. they are just few of the collective.
there were many tax collectors who had changed and followed the steps of Christ,
but not all.
since all of them are man, man is inclined to temptation and temptation is inclined to sin.
the remaining exploiters were not saved but condemned to roam hell for eternity.
but as they are wicked, they are also cunning.
they bribed the devil with their stolen riches for their freedom, to which the devil agreed,
but with certain conditions.
they are free to roam the earth, but they must bring back every soul who is indebted in any kind, in any way, to the devil.
now, the tax collectors walk the earth,
with little coins in their pockets,
invisible yet heard,
intangible yet felt,
looking for their payment to the devil.
but in times they are clumsy, they trip and spill their coins.
so, if you're lucky, you'll hear the tinkling sound of coins,
yet nobody will be there, and no coins will be rolling on the ground,
but beware
because it's time to pay your debts.

It's been a while since I last saw you. When I got a good look at your face, it's like everything changed and everything stayed the same, all at the same time.

It was six in a very cold evening. We shared a cigarette even though you had a cold and a nasty cough because that's what we usually did when we were together.  We'd talk about how you were doing with college and how I did because that's what we do, at least, did.

After a couple of sticks, we got back to my place. I thought it was a bad idea since it'd bring up a lot of things but that's the last thing I thought of as you walked in my room.

You saw my mattress was on the floor because it was a new place and I couldn't afford a bed frame at the moment. Still, you took off your shoes and jumped on it, saying "good night" because you haven't had much sleep because of school. I got my extra pillow and I hit your **** with it and as I expected, you still didn't budge.

I whipped up some instant noodles since that's all I had and I knew you haven't ate yet and as soon as I got it on the plate, you instantly got up my mattress and just ate it all. You yelled and got mad at me for not warning you that the noodles were hella spicy. You rushed to my counter to get some water and I laughed my *** off.

I got up and grabbed my guitar and I sang Galway Girl and you told me you didn't like the new album. Still, I continued playing then you just sang along by the chorus.

The night went on along with a couple of more songs. You still had that graceful, thin voice even though you smoked a lot.  The voice that I really liked a lot because it calms me. I even showed you that I still had that recording of yours singing that Lily Allen song in which I forgot the title and you scoffed at me for saving that track.

With all that, bursts of nostalgia came rushing at me. I looked at you and I could say it looks the same for you. Our eyes met and you smiled.

A bad idea popped in my mind but before dismissing it, I find myself leaning closer to you, and simultaneously, you lean close to me. I smiled and thought, we really do think of bad ideas. With that, I find my lips touching yours.

It goes on for minutes and you suddenly stop, move back and say we shouldn't because... I'll get your cold. I smiled and moved my face closer to yours again. You hit my shoulder with your hand and smiled, and kissed me again.

We lay on my mattress for a few more moments, thinking of what we did and if it was the right thing to do. A part of me says I missed this, another says this was a really bad idea and before I could make up my mind, you get up and tried to get your things. You said you remembered you had to go and do your school thing. I got up as well and I accompanied you until you got a ride home. I waved goodbye as you went for the bus.

Suddenly, I sneezed and coughed then I laughed. I laughed because I knew I caught your cold.  And the worst thing is, I laughed because I knew a cold isn't the only thing I caught. I sighed then I smiled and I hoped that cold medicine could also take away the other things I caught....

The nightmare of falling
to an endless void
Risking everything to land on nothing
Reaching out my hand to hold onto darkness
But instead of pulling me out,
It pulls me deeper within
I close my eyes I see pitch black
I open them I see no difference
All that is gone and all that is dark
Nothing comes close to true peace but this
Fear shrouds like a warm blanket thru the cold void
And my body continue to fall
And my spirit ascends to paradise

j u
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           t a
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