you were so beautiful
the first time he told you that you
were too big for any man to handle
you were so beautiful

when he told you your stretch
marks were ugly so you cut them open
they were only evidence of you growing, becoming
now there's only the proof that you are lost, not knowing
you are something so beautiful

even though I know the heart
shaped bruises covering this
body do not feel like love bites
even though this body does not feel like yours anymore

even though he left you shaking
on the bathroom floor just trying
to find the strength to lift you
head to the toilet to ***** some more
you are so beautiful

even though this body
your body
has been empty for so long
you are so beautiful

does your body shake
when you
look down at your bruised knuckles
does it look like
the world is dangling
like a yo-yo from a string
tied around your finger
or does it tug
like a noose
on the last morning you thought
this world would finally
leave you alone
did you feel me
when the butterflies in my
stomach
flew out the end of
your unlit cigarette
were you trying to breathe me in
or ******* away
it doesn't take much
to ******* away
I am that string
wrapped around your finger
with the world on the other end
pulling us down

when I feel the sensations
of words starting to make sense
in my mind;
this is when I feel high.
writing is my drug of choice.
it fufills my needs
and makes me feel "okay".
to keep the feelings trapped inside
my silenced mouth
and speeding mind
is like when a drug addict
comes down from the high.
it makes me feel
weak
numb
and uncontrollable.
I am nothing without a pencil
and paper;
I was destined for greater.
and greater
I shall become.

Like a cigarette dropped from your lips not yet finished
My soul continue to glow as you leave me on the ground to die.
I'm far from ready to let my flame go out
But unless someone is willing to pick me up
All I can do is hope I don't set the leaves nearby ablaze
As my light slowly flickers out
Hopefully without being smothered beneath a boot.

I don't want there to be a day where I have to read a speech at my best friend's funeral because she commited suicide.

I don't want to have to say how cruel and horrid the world is to destroy such an amazing and innocent person.

I don't want to watch her happiness wipe away from her face as sadness and darkness plagues her heart.

I don't wanna get that call in the middle of the night telling me my friend is gone.

I don't want to dream of her smiling, to wake up to a dying soul.
But a dream is only a dream..

I don't want to be watched by a ghost of a friend who didn't want to live.

But, it's happening. People will keep being cruel to the most loving people, until they no longer want to be in this hell.

I don't want to watch a friend die.

Please don't make me.

Chained by truth,
Chained by tears,
Chained by dreams, and
Chained by fears.

Coward to self,
Victor to all,
Fears naught but one:
Which is Death's call.

Annoyance is plenty,
A straight face is kept.
Tears of joy,
Have never been wept.

Bane is joy,
Boon is sorrow.
Was there still hope,
To be a morrow?

Never change,
Never bother.
To show weakness
To another.

We met in our hometown that ******* town
Where everybody see´s me , as a dog **** on the ground
You saw something in me , I just don’t know what
It was probably the advance of ******* me up

Keep talking of your innocent and lie about your dreams
No one dreams of low life , empty and feeling alone
I hate this idea , no one is  dreaming of me
So please ******* go to hell where you belong

Where your father recreates you
And command you to destroy happiness
in our life´s which you  don’t deserve
to celebrate your rebirth

I want to forget all our memories because I saw your every lie
You didn't seem to care by the fact , I wanna die
But I will keep my promise , in my coffin I will arrive
we like myself better when i´m not alive

I throw myself for a train or something
So I wont feel anymore
In my black coffin castle,  I will be my own king
The coffin is blank just like me

I see the intention of our suicide , but you will find new victim
You'll  be unhappy together , but not as good for me at all
All the black angels , laugh as I turned into stone
I never thought i´d say this but I hate being alone