I'm alive today, but not sure why
I've been thinking a lot about life and when I will die.
It's sad to say, but truth often is
I'm left here in this empty abyss of loneliness.

Sitting upon my pity-*** gains me nothing in the end
I wish I would've considered my actions, now without my friend.
Crushed and polluted within my mind
A crime scene inside my brain you will only find.

So, what is the solution to the problem at hand?
How can I correct what has already been done and still be able to stand?
Should I run away or stay to face the music and internally die?
I know that I'm sick and tired of always wanting to cry.

I know God exists and he has a purpose for my life.
I know that he loves me and will always make a way, leading me away from strife.
So, now that I remember that beautiful promise he made to me...
I'm asking the Lord to carry my burden and help me to be eternally free.

Do I still think about morbidity and the way it would look upon my death?
Am I so selfish to be concerned with how I will take my last breath?
No, I refuse to give up and let the evil one win.
I'm going to turn my life over to him again.

You lit my insides on fire

voiced the words sunken deep in my linear

spoken against,

the stillest water

I could of sworn I saw it move.

your eyes blushing as 
you
articulate her thigh

I saw it in you,

your shy endorsement
for the same

***
 curious movements

from gentle hands

lip gnawed and panicked

I ran my hand through boyish hair

and god I am such a cliche

why won’t you come and say
*hello