At night I imagine you're arms enfold, as it's me I know they wish to hold, at night I weep for words unsaid for kisses un-given and emotions misread, I weep for the fact that you want to love me, I weep for the fact that I am what I be.

I'm afraid.
Afraid of these feelings that are starting to surface.

Whenever I've let them out before,
I've been left with them dragging behind me,
slowly being ripped to pieces.

If they don't exist,
You'll stay around.
I ruin everything by having feelings.

Feelings can't get hurt if they don't exist.
It can't hurt if you feel nothing at all.

There is
an abundance
of beautiful people,
for beauty
should be
in your mind.

There are so many things
that I want to say to you.

Countless things.

I once told you
"I will love you
for a very long time
until planet explodes....
then a while longer."

But I lied.

There will never be enough time in the universe
for me to express every last bit of love I feel for you.

I lied.

because there isn't an end date to this
this isn't some food or event
true love isn't an object
it is eternity

Thank you in advance
for forgiving me for lying
because eternity still does not feel enough

for all the things we dream to do together
for all the words we want to say
for all the moments we wish to take each other's hands

for all the thank yous and I love yous we'd say everyday

YOU saw him in a Facebook group:
•U check his Profile picture.
•He Drives A Range Rover Sport 2016.
.He is handsome.
•He inboxes you.
•You reply, all excited.
•You'll want 2 hook up.
•You set a date.
•You dress up that Legging With No underwear.
•Smelling good.
•You put on a makeup - fresh breath and new weave.
•He takes you 4 lunch @ Serena Hotel.
•He Takes you for - Drinks At Java.
•You two have a good time.
•He rubs your hand,
•Makes you laugh,
•Gives you looks and smiles.
•You stupidly fall in love.
•It's like you've known him Forever.
•He takes you to his apartment.
•He makes you feel comfortable and lays u on his bed.
•Kiss you passionately.
•You love his aggression, strength, power and you give in.
•It feels good.
•You know it's wrong, but it feels good.
•You ask for protection, he says it's too late.
•You obey and don't disturb.
•He says he loves you and you don't hesitate to say you love him too. He hits it nice and slow
•After, he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
•He helps you drink it, ooohh man.
•You feel special.
•"He must be the one" you think to yourself.
•You get dressed.
•He takes you to the taxi park.
•He kisses you on the cheeks and says
•"I had a great time,"
•Gives You cash.
•U smile and say.
•"See you tomorrow babe."
• He stays silent.
•Your taxi drives away,
•In the taxi u can't stop smiling.
•You get home and inbox him that you got home safe.
•He is online, but doesn't reply.
•It's unlike him, so you inbox him again.
•He doesn't respond.
•Minutes later you can't find him on ur friend list.
•HE BLOCKED YOU.
•Days, weeks, months passes by.
•You start feeling sick, weak, loose weight, act strange with sores in your mouth.
•You go to the clinic.
•Get tested.
•Minutes later,
•Nurse walks in."I'm sorry. You're *** Positive and Pregnant!"
•".HOW ?"
•You don't understand.
•Reality hits you.
•You walk home.
•Scared.
•Confused.
•You go to the bus stop.
•You lay, hopeless, emotionless.
•You see death coming nearer.
•You look into the sky & mumble a prayer.
That's the end of you.

the buildings
hum
with the energy of
thousands of people.
Thousands of lives
converge,
made up of
thousands of unique combinations
of jobs,
love lives,
families,
and friendships-
thousands of experiences.
Thousands of worlds
blend together into
a symphony
of life and being.

Poets are:

people who experience uniquely

people who look past the first layer of perception

people who read the undercurrent of the world

people who translate its transcendence into comprehension

and people who voice it as best they can.

We were once considered to be an unbreakable bond
and yet
now
we cannot stand the sight of each other
you refuse to even look in my eyes

I do believe that I will always unquestionably inexplicably unfathomably love you until the day that my final breath is taken

And I don't ask for you to reciprocate this for me
But I wan't you to know that my heart will always belong to you

For you my love always and forever

Saturday's

Why are they so important?

Why do they mean so much?

Last Saturday I was at a bar talking to Canadians at a bachelor party--one of which bought me drinks all night and wanted to makeout with me.

The Saturday before that I went out with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time.

And before that, I went out with my friends to this area that had so many bars filled with people who drank themselves into stupors--kind of like I did the Saturday before that one.

I was dumped. So I drank--a lot I drank. That Saturday was a mess.

But tonight is Saturday and I didn't want to do anything, yet I felt like I should. So I did. I went to a friend's house to drink, but I didn't go out. I felt tipsy, I felt surrounded by friends, but I also felt sad.

He was out. He was happy. And he definitely was probably not sad.

But I was.

It's funny how break ups work--they make you question even the smallest things, like the purpose of Saturday's, ya know?