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When I looked at you I felt everything. All of the colors and feelings that I didn't know I had. Four shades of sadness, two shades of anger, but an abundance of happiness. No, not happiness. Adventure. In you there was everything that excited me, yet nothing of what I needed. Just a wide array of shapes that were never actually defined, that never actually fit together. There was never a clear picture with you, never certainty. And maybe that's what made the painting of you so beautiful, nothing was set in place, always moving , always changing. Always fluid; never solid. By that I mean thrilling. You were a kaleidoscope and every time I looked through you, you changed. Quickly and suddenly. I knew trusting you was like trusting in a optical instrument, but I did it anyways. At the end of us when the colors became dull and the shapes changed slowly, you gave me a look I will never forget. It was the same look a boy gave me in 9th grade biology. We had been looking through a microscope at slides of different organisms the whole class period. We were describing them and drawing them and after a while he looked at me and said "you know, I really don't care to look through this thing anymore. I'm really bored with it". He looked at me disappointed. It's a microscope's job to zoom in on the big picture, to look closer and define; to shape. When I looked at you, I felt everything. But when you looked at me, you felt bored. I remember once you told me I make a really big thing out of small things. I remember once I called you a kaleidoscope and in response you called me a microscope.
you said you loved me,
a single lilac among others.
prettier, you said.
sweeter, softer.
you loved my delicacy,
sense of solitude,
my endearing growth.
however,
sprouts whither,
and I find
myself asking
why must you
always turn back
to smell
the roses.
i love poetry
it made me realise who i was
i understood myself better
and i felt understood
though we are all swimming in different tides and waves
we're all from the same ocean
different,
but together as a whole
-poetry saved us
it must be magic
how you take my darkness and
turn it into fire

- p. winter
 Jul 2017 Nicole Eden
Lydia
I sit next to them,
but they don’t know I’m here.

I stand in front of them,
but they don’t see me.

I brush against them,
but they don’t feel me.

I shake them with all my strength,
but they stand still.

I scream,
but they don’t hear me.

They are strong, and I am weak.
I am fluid, and they are hard as stone.
I am burning, yet they still freeze my heart.

Nothing can touch them.

They are
Invincible.

I am crumbling.
 Jul 2017 Nicole Eden
Cait Harbs
Don't worry, love,
I know those gates of stone
stand firmly
to guard the most precious parts
of your soul.

I am not here like the others;
not as a warrior
planning a siege
or a strategist
plotting to knock them down.

I respect your walls too much.

You have fought in more wars
than most;
you have been betrayed by more loves
than most could survive -
your walls are the result
of your scars.

So here I stand before you,
my weapons laid down,
my intentions spread out before the Sun,
with nothing in my hands
but open palms,
asking you
to let me in.

Show me, love,
all those terrible,
beautiful
wild flowers
growing in your garden -
I want to do nothing
but paint them to remember,
and carry their fallen petals
safely in my heart.

Open up to me, please,
my love -
I am already yours.
 Jul 2017 Nicole Eden
Ben
Who knew that the cure
For a mind stricken with grey
Was leaves on the breeze?
He wants to read my poems,
he wants to see what
I have written about him.
I wonder why I am so scared
for him to see my thoughts
laid bare with no filters.
Maybe because I still have that fear
that he will run away
once he realizes how real this is.
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