She is kind
She is loving
She is caring
She is silly
She is gentle
She is beautiful
She is my rock in stormy weather
She is a hand to hold and steady my world
She is the heart beating in my body
She is the voice telling me to keep going
She is the fire burning in my veins
She is a pearl in an oyster of a world
She is a rose among thorns
She is love
She is whole
She is everything I need
And she is mine

Wave after wave
I am drowning
God I hate you
Pull a gun to the gods head
Shot me back to earth
And drown me in sorrow

I heard your voice last night
It was faint but it was there
Was it my meds calling to me
pRoBaBlY
But it sounded like you
And with open ****** arms I reached out to you
Forgetting all of the pain
Forgetting all of the hatred
I never meant to hurt you
And I know you never meant to hurt me
It doesn't matter now
But if I go now please know
I reached out to you
I reached for you with my last breath

I closed my eyes today
The wind was blowing
And the sun was bright as ever
Your favorite type of day
And in that moment I thought of you again
Could you feel the warmth of life
Did you decide to live?
Are your eyes closed
Arms out stretched
Palms to the gods
Can you feel what its like to live
Without me
Without you
Today was a good day
Without you

She was the first drops of rain on a spring morning
And I was the hurricane on a late summer night

The way she moved with such ease through me
She was the light in the dark

She burned all night, but not for herself
I was love drunk

A wild storm swinging free
I could protect you from the outside

Hide you away from it all
The eye of my storm

In the end all storms must either move on
Or die out

I couldn't die out with you
I was so scared

You were the drizzle that started it all
And I was the hurricane that ended it

Do you want to know how it feels?
What it's like to see through my eyes?
Imagine being so happy one minute
You're surrounded by friends
Laughter and smiles warm you before the chill
That ice cold feeling like something is deathly wrong
You can't breath
Should I sit here and wait it out?
Will they notice?
Here it comes, the hills in your stomach
Behind a close door you sit on the floor
Counting
1,2,3...
It wont last forever and you know
But God in the moment everything is wrong
7,8,9,10....
How can you escape this fear?
Should I just end it all now?
Nothing is worth this much pain
20, 21, 22,23
Can they hear me panting?
Just don't throw up
Hold it in
It's almost over now
35, 36, 37, 38
Still think I'm perfect?

I can't control this anymore
The sadness is finally gone
But the after taste is still on my tongue
Will it return
And if it does will you
I can see my happiness in my hands
But is that what I even want
It's what everyone wants right?
So whats wrong with me?