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 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
Dream Book
 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
Do you know what it means
to be caught in a dream?
Do you know how it feels
to be caught in between?

When things are not there
but they are if you look?
Where all of the pages
are blank in the book?


© Pagan Paul (09/10/16)
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Old Poem
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 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
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Today I went

to Hell,

to sell my soul

to the Devil.



I don't know how

it happened,

but I wound up

buying his.



Now I own

the tortured spirit

of an angel

fallen and disgraced.



He wants it back

so it can't pass

auctioned into the

wrong hands.



The dilemma

beckons an answer

from eternities

waiting hordes.



A decision so large

the universe

holds its breath

in chaotic silence.



I don't know how

it happened

but I've ended up

becoming the Devil.



© Pagan Paul (2016)
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 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
Hidden
 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
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As I walk this lonely path
the music plays for me.
Picking at the neat stitches,
the seams of my inner universe.
Somewhere a dam bursts,
a levee breaks, floodgates open.
And vision is impaired by drops
like boulders of rain on a windscreen,
but I have no wiper blades,
just the rims of my wraparounds.
And the music plays on regardless,
ripping through the fabric,
the cushion of my existence.
Control lets go, an illogical absentee.
Millennia creep by as minutes tick.
Sliding through black curtains sight returns,
the shakes pass slowly, rubbernecking shame.
And as the music plays in my head,
I walk the path and treasure the gift
of tears for souvenirs.


© Pagan Paul (2017)
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When nobody sees you cry ...
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 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
The Seeker
 Jul 2017 nora
Pagan Paul
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The sky hangs heavy, still and sore,
sad, it doesn't change any more.
Maybe the answers are right here,
Not up there with uncertainty and fear.

A voice cries out desperate and loud,
'every silver lining has a cloud'.
Perhaps there are no answers now,
but the future may reveal somehow.

Unmasked and uncloaked, the weary mind,
through the imagery the thoughts unwind.
A storm rages and a light bursts through,
a path, years lost, there, in full view.

Where this leads is mystery unclear,
but not up there with all the fear.
A whole new vista, could be uncertain,
the arduous task of raising the curtain.

© Pagan Paul (2016/2017)
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A poem about the mood swings inherent in BPD,
the struggle to understand them and to manage them.
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 Jul 2017 nora
Jamie King
Why do say love is blind or is for fools?
You drown your blankets with seas from your eyes. Convincing yourself your chest is not one full of treasure, but needles at war with your heart.

Is this what you call love?
This is infatuation, it's lust, it's desire to benefit yourself with no regards for the one you burn towards.

Will you not learn from nature?
trees revive you with oxygen as you breathe. the rivers feed the clouds and the clouds rain and feed the rivers.

Where is sorrow there?
Where are the needles you curse?

Leave your sorrows, they are not worthy of You. Realise that Love is a circle of beneficence, sacrificing itself for the welfare of others.
Wipe your tears and seek for wisdom for where there is wisdom you'll find truth and love
 Jul 2017 nora
bluestarfall
Time* is in your pockets,

Hurry up and light the rockets,

Put your *emptiness
in the sockets,

Spread smiles and add jollity to the list of dockets,

Make a wish today, and wear your lucky lockets.
Let'em worry, you don't stop chasing what is yours.
 Jul 2017 nora
My Scarlet Amora
It feels like my eyes have just been opened
In this beautiful city, I am amazed
My old life seems to melt away and fly through the air above
The city with more history than us keeps me moving
I see your face in the harbor as a boat slowly passes by
Will I ever truly be free from this mental trap?
But tonight as I sit in the airport and watch people run by followed by a plan taking off
I realized something
We were always on different planes
Coming and going
Loving and hating
I feel free and and ready
Ready for what ever life is going to throw at me next
 Jul 2017 nora
My Scarlet Amora
Here's the thing about destroying you life
Taking it apart one seem at a time
It seems like a great idea to just unravel and be free
Until the day repair becomes an option
But you've gone far into this rabbit hole
Taking everything from Xanax to addy, to oxy
You want your last days to be free and amazing
And then I met her
She told me she loved me for me
And my past
She said there wasnt a single thing she would change about me
Because what makes me happy is a apart of her happiness now
And broke me, and almost killed me
brought me to her
She patched me up and showed me life is adventure
Rocky a times with a couple turns
But for every dark hole there will be a warm beautiful beach
And to have that responds after years of self doubt and hate
Of years of mental abuse
And choosing to slowly poison my body until I couldn't feel
I felt
And I wanted to feel again
For the first time in my life I'm ready for the next day, and the next
And all of the days I get to spend with her
You'll never know what kind of state you found me in
I'm beyond glad we have each other now
Loving you has allowed me to have another chance at life
And I can't wait to spend every second of it with you my dear
I love you
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