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Nivine Nahli Jun 2018
There is no middle ground.
It’s ice or fire,
I’m cold, fragile.
I’m hot, stubborn.

Constantly shifting,
Never stable.
There is no in between,
But I’m always, in between.

My two worlds.

n.n
Nivine Nahli Jun 2018
Touch me, as if you love me.
Hold me in your filthy arms.

Kiss me with those lying lips  
Tell me these flattering remarks.

Nothing could be more fallacious,
Than this kind of love.

This is all a lie.

n.n
Nivine Nahli Jun 2018
People are afraid of starting a life,
With someone who will love them
Endlessly.

n.n
Nivine Nahli Jun 2018
How am I supposed to bloom,
While you step all over me?
How am I supposed to grow,
When I’m thirsty for love.

How can I become beautiful
If I’m left out in the cold.
Maybe you have seen me blossom,
Yet, my insides have decayed.

n.n
Nivine Nahli Jun 2018
I remember telling you,
I’m bittersweet.

My delightful laugh,
A saccharine smile, unforgettable.

My painful cry, causing distress.
Leaving a cicatrix in your mind.

n.n
Nivine Nahli Jun 2018
If it wasn’t for the rain
Falling effortlessly on the ground,
I’d have a hard time sleeping,
Sleeping in silence.

I could rest my body gently.
The sound of the rain,
A soft murmur.  
It calms my tense body.  

Soothes my clouded mind,
And there I go, falling into my sleep.
The days I wish I would stay asleep,
In peace and at ease...

The rain has washed me.

n.n
Nivine Nahli May 2018
bpd
Pain will never leave me.
It lingers into my skin,
Leaving aches all over my body.
I’ve become fragile and thin.

Some days I’m the sun,
Other days I’m just pure darkness.
There is no way I could outrun,
The feeling of being heartless.

I beg you to stay by my side,
I question your love for me.
I threaten to leave you behind,
Screaming in pain, don’t leave me.

I interrogate my own existence,
Wondering why and how I’m still here.
I woke up with so much resilience,
For once, not a single fear.

That won’t last long,
In a few minutes I’ll be someone new.
I know, there’s something wrong.
But I wish you had a clue.
Living with BPD.
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