It starts out with a word
Or a phrase
That hurts you deeply
You're in public
So you cannot blubber like a lunatic
Finding that power in yourself you walk away
But as soon as you have turned around
The tears flow like you just got out of the shower
Slowly
Those tears are the ones coming from the heart
You are silent

I think
The worst thing in life to see
Is a happy looking table
Full or people with wonderful souls
To cry like their life depends on it
They send a toast out
To all of those who aren't here with them
They thank each other for remembering
Tell their spouses "No need for the tears, love"
Share stories of the ones lost
The ones that left
They yell, and argue
Besides the fact they're family
And after that short- but sweet- time
They act like it never happened

we are stripped down
to blood and bone
no skin at all
because that isn't beautiful

our eyes are the colors of
emerald greens and
intense blue crystals
because brown isn't beautiful

we need designer things
Gucci and Prada
not target and walmart
because clothes need to be beautiful

if this is what beauty is
then i cant give it to you
i can act real
but we'll always be *a little fake

run                                                              ­                          gossip
               bang                                                             ­  stress
                        snort                             ­            loath
                                   starve                   hate
                                                 smoke
                                     purge                 steal
                          sleep                            ­            cheat
                 hit                                                              ­   gamble
     drink                                                            ­                            lie

                                ­              **Go Mad

the heaviness i feel
when we talk
the pressure on my shoulders
the constant voice in my head saying
"don’t do it, don’t fall in love"
i thought you were
my defender
you hauled me out from my dull life
and brought cloudless days
after a while
i assume you got bored
had enough of your "play toy"
and left
in the first few months
the atmosphere was ordinary
i think it was a couple weeks
until i finally realized
your image
disguise
charade
was just an illusion
you're actually gone
you're not who i believed to be
it'll never be the same
just another
-important-
segment of life

Cloudiness of the mind
Is only an illusion
What you have created
Or the others that fill your thoughts
You scratch until you bleed
To rid yourself of these barbaric thoughts
You cannot stop them
And nor do you want to