This world is like a beautiful nightmare
There are flowers that bite
Kittens that swipe
The prettiest things can be the deadliest
I guess thats the same with love

Sunsets remind me that there is still such thing as a beautiful ending

"I've lost track of the amount of times I've given up
But im still here
So don't ever call me weak"

I used to be so bubbly
I used to be so happy
So carefree
So free of misery

Now
Laughing is a struggle
Smiling is a mask
All I seem to do is choke up and fail

I used to be so smart
Such a bright girl
Such a clever girl

Now
I can barely think
Stress and disappointment seem to be the only things Im smart enough to know are a problem

I used to feel pretty
I used to feel loved

Now
I see eyes glance over me as though Im nothing
I see stares and glares
And if I am so loved then why I am so alone?

I used to be enthusiastic
I used to be the first to volunteer

Now
Im too scared to even get out of my chair
Anxiety eats me alive if I even draw the smallest attention to myself

I know that you don't care
But maybe you can relate
To old me
That I could appreciate

Beat me
I'd rather you beat me with your fists
Than talk at me with cursed sentences
Because your punches would'nt hurt nearly as much
As the pain you've caused with those words

It seems like I have noone
Noone to back me up
Noone to trust anymore
I feel alone dispite being around people 24/7
All of my friends just seemed to fade into nothing
Noone asks about me anymore
Noone invites me anywhere anymore
And if I am invited my family will sure as hell ruin that too
All I want is at least one mate I can rely on
One mate that understands
But I guess thats too much to ask for.

Its 9.45
I could'nt feel less alive
I seem to be falling, sinking
In my own bed
And I hope that maybe
Just maybe
The mattress might swallow me whole