How can you medicate me
                     if you barely know me?

I called you at 2am
because i missed the way
your voice crackled
in the static
even at an unreachable distance.
I lay here,
eyes shut.
imagining countless scenarios
of how I might see you again.
however,
you look so much better in my mind.
and online.


c.m.
8-19-14

I keep trying to think of what to write,
I know it's there yet I can't find the words
and then I realize that it's already been written,
I've lived this story before,
with him five years ago.
But I delve in anyways, heart, soul and mind.
giving it up to a stranger that feels like home.

Maybe this time it will be different,
I really hope it's different,
as I fall in love again.

I can feel me breaking
but my anger is holding me together.
You said you were on your way
that this time it would be forever.

You lied.

There's a common misconception
when I tell people I have depression,
that I should be pitied or treated like glass,
like it makes me weak and unable.
Sometimes it ***** and my world caves in,
I don't know how to go on
and I can't seem to breathe.
There's something they don't realize,
I wouldn't change it for the world,
each day is a celebration of being alive,
of pain, and air, love and just even surviving.
Depression can make you weak
but it also makes me strong
and I love it, and me for that.