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Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.
just a reminder that everything gets better folks. please, please hang in there. i believe in each and one of y'all.

UPDATE: thank you so so so much for 51k. the overwhelming amount of comments and messages and loves make me feel so happy to spread this poem. thank you.
 May 2018 Niki Elizabeth
I'm sick of this
beauty culture
that hangs us over.
Swiftly condescending,
our eyes are no longer sober.
We're selling ourselves out
for a popular photo.
The kids of today surely suffer,
there are no do-overs.
Never got a chance
just to be a kid,
we're sifting through Twitter
to find the newest trends.
You have to look like this
and act like that
our sense of self
is under constant attack.
I can't help but see this
and shake my head,
who would want to be this?
Glued to the mirror,
but all that reflects is
this sense of regret when we
waste our lives
becoming obsessed with how we
look in the crowd's eyes.
A cancer of an image,
what's deep inside starts to die.
An empty shell covered in
all these care products
we go broke buying because we
know no other conduct.
I'm sick of this
modern beauty culture,
it's taught us to ravage
the emotions of a person
in hopes we find a
pretty face instead.
Hung up and hung over
from what somebody else said.
Every day feels like an obstacle.
And I'm lost with every expression you make silently.
We notice each others indifferences but never speak on them.
We strike out of luck with every passing glance and every failed attempt to fall in love.
But I want to fall in love.
And so do you.
I hope.
I think.
I'm not sure.
And so we're hard to love when being revealed to vulnerability.
And I could carve out my heart just for you to carve out yours.
And we'd just be staring at each other unable to accept the responsibility of our hearts sensibility.
And fighting is pointless because neither of us want to be the reason for pain.
And we blur passive words like, "it's for your sake" or "I just don't want you to get hurt." When in reality we both know what we mean.
Because our indifferences are our similarities.
And in reality we just don't want to be hurt.
So we make ourselves hard to love.
Because maybe one day our worth will contribute to our happiness and not just for others.
But for us.
And one day we'll be able to feel that tingle in our skin when we touch.
But for now I'm hard to love.
And your scared of falling in love.
You were dead when I met you
The person I met was just a ghost
What you turned to,to take away your pain
Took your soul
Your living as a empty shell
I kissed the lips of a corpse that night
I can't help but think
If I would of met you before the drugs did
That I could of saved you
You died the first time snorting it
The pain of it running down
Was your soul dying
When you felt yourself slipping away
From your problems
You never came back
I wear the void like Sunday dress,
I wrap myself in nothingness
far away from solid ground
moons exploding without sound...

I spin around my weightless self.

Shining stars of every color
welcome me like long lost lover,
sending stardust to my aid
telling me "You shouldn't stay"

...but still in the void I float.
I think that you and I have always met.
Wherever there's a world big enough for two people to get lost.
And wherever the lost lay their heads down too low to see.
Right when we both get tired of the pain filling the lamps in our eyes.
But right before the bags start blowing in the wind
or the dust dances in the corners,
Or the blade hits bone.

I think that I always hear you first.
And your voice is a bagpipe war cry.
And the hand on the top of my head is removed all at once.
And I break the plane of the ice water fast.
And as we rise we lock eyes.
And we smile.
And our smiles explode open to syphon as much life as we can inside.
And we pour our pain into each others lamps.
And our lips will light the wicks.
And we dive back down.

And this time we choose the floor.
The coral bouquets.
The hotbeds.
The shipwrecks.
We are the bright lights moving in the dark now.
We are the ones we were afraid of.
And we are not together.
But we don't get lost so easy anymore.
 Jul 2016 Niki Elizabeth
I let you in

I let the poison take over my body

I let your soul control mine

you cut the flowers from the garden inside me and left only the weeds.

You had me breathing my last breaths and then left, and now

there is a little flower growing inside me.
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