Ironically, I'm on the bridge,
after burning too many,
I've pushed away people,
family
friends
lovers
and now I don't have any.

You need help!

They cry, they chant
Stay on this Earth, life is lovely,
but I just ******* can't.
No one cares about you, life's tough
right until you're suicidal
then everyone's an idol.

You need help!
You need help!

No, I don't.
You're in the wrong,
Politicians lie and you eat it raw, the rich are in control
I don't belong.
I want out, noose in hand
suddenly, life doesn't seem so bland.

Get out, get out, get out
I'm feeling this too early

22, young, whole life ahead of me,
this is not a call for help, not a plea
Society, life and I are too disjoint
and we'll all die
so after all, what's the point?

Get out, get out, get out
Get out, get out, get out
Get out, get out, get out

I want out
don't let me stay
if my noose snaps,
you'll find me somewhere in the bay.
Please let me out,
I beg you,
offing yourself is so hard,
too hard,
I am too scarred
and survival instincts are tough
I wish this was bluff.

You need help!
*You need ... *

Get out, get out, get out
Get out, get out, get out
Before it's too late

I feel trapped, no air
legs kicking, arms flailing.
People stare,
but now I don't care.
No grey, colours come back
blue
green
yellow
red
orange
they are all there
I'll never look back.

I can't give my heart
It is shielded with walls
      Towering    
          impenetrable.
Protected with foundations
       bottomless
            substantial.
Fortified by the scars
   left by those
Incapable of being
    trusted.
Unworthy
         deceitful
             thieves!
Who consume hearts
      in feeble attempts
           to become human....

You may never touch the stars,
        but your life will be infinitely better
if you reach for them anyway.

may 3 at 10:18am:
"and one more thing, i know you won't accept it, but i'm sorry. for everything. to you, and her. i know i can't fix anything, but the least i can do is repent for my mistakes."

you message my best friend
because i'm under the radar
and we don't really talk anymore
she keeps this a secret
because she knows any sign of you
will bring me back on my knees
begging for you to take me back
she cares too much for me
to let me put myself back in that position
she knows what you've done to me
she knows how you're my favorite brand of poison
so she keeps it quiet
until she thinks i'm over you
and then forwards me your message
so casually
like
"oh yeah, he says he's sorry"
AS IF YOU APOLOGIZING MEANS NOTHING
I KNOW SHE HAD GOOD INTENTIONS
BUT HOW COULD SHE KEEP THIS FROM ME
YOU SAYING SORRY
MEANS YOU REGRET
LETTING ME GO
MAYBE YOU STILL LOVE ME
MAYBE YOU WANT TO COME BACK
HOW COULD SHE KEEP THIS FROM ME
FOR 6 WHOLE MONTHS
HOW COULD SHE NOT TELL ME
WHEN EVERY SINGLE DAY
I LONG FOR A WORD FROM YOU
A SIGN
THAT I'M STILL ON YOUR MIND
HOW
COULD SHE
STEAL THE
ONE CHANCE I HAD
TO TAKE YOU BACK
YOU PROBABLY THINK
I STILL HATE YOU
THAT YOU'RE STILL UNFORGIVEN
...but love means never having to say you're sorry
i never needed an apology
even though i had to watch you leave
left me broken
left me for dead
but you're still the only thought
floating around in my head
babe, i forgive you
if that's all you need to hear
to come back to me
to come near
i forgive you
a thousand times over
i'll forgive you once more
if it means you'll come closer
what happened,
happened,
it's in the past
maybe we just weren't
meant to last
but set fire to that
and let's begin again
i want to be your lover
i want to be your friend
it's okay if you
want to take it slow
i have all the time in the world for you
just please, *please, don't go
i never thought
i'd even be a fleeting thought for you
and now, 6 months later
i realize
maybe you really do still care
maybe you want to give it another shot
i know it's not a lot
but it's a chance
one in a million
one gazillionth of a possibility
that you still want me
i'll gamble it all
i have nothing to lose
cause i lost all i had
when i lost *you

Farewell, days of summer
your sweat stains remain;
and those fading tan lines

blend into a chalk-like frame.
Let's point to autumn leaves
to hide paleness, underneath

folds of warm, cloistering sleeves.
Maybe our winter's hibernation
shall blossom into sparkly spring.*



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