I've seen
The ocean.
Waves breaking
In your eyes.

You pull away
As if to say
You'd rather leave
Then make me stay.

"You can talk to us"
They say

Duct tape in
Hand.

So young
When you were thrown from your nest
Learning how to fly

It seems that after time
It was as though you were
Taking in breath.

But you'll have those setbacks
The wind and the weather
Predators
Take you
Down

Left with a broken wing
Learning once more
How to breathe

It's scary
It's sudden
And once again
New

No longer so trusting
Won't jump from the nest
The pavement's so close
Right now you can rest

One day you'll be ready
One day you can try
Again you'll be learning
It's okay to fly.

"I want you so bad"
Grabbing at my chest
As you
Push me
Further
Away.

Missing you
In
Silent
Sobs
And
Shakes.

So many little
Things have
New purpose
New meaning

Nothing's gonna change my world

But I might.

So I've been thinking.
I love you.

my god aren't you
lovely

Pushing with all the strength I can render
Against the love and acceptance holding me up

Wanting so desperately to fall apart
Fighting so hard go hold it together.

I'm frightened,
left
      aghast.

Afraid of moving
forward
All I've known is in the
                                          past.

The only one
That can turn an overwhelming moment
Into a lovely memory

Freckles
Driving me
Wild

Silence
has a way of

Announcing
Itself

so
incredibly
                    loudly

Sometimes I am overcome by
A feeling.

Unsure of what it
Is
Or how to
Process it,
I lie
In bed
All day.

Searching for contact
In each set of eyes
I meet

Mesmerizing how
The light can make
Things so

Different
and
New.

Falling in love
When you have an agenda
Is so
Painful

I just wish I could cry.
And scream.
And yell.
And throw up.
And shake
Uncontrollably
Until I
Vacate
My
Own
Body.

Because you've touched
Every inch of it.

These hands have memorized the way you move. My feet, giddy to see you. Eyes flash open each morning to yours.
And my lips.
They want to come home.

But
You're
Moving
On.

I suppose so am I but

This is the first time
I've had
Trouble
Letting
Go.

Hello

Have you ever
Fallen out of
Love?

Have you, too,
Had to
Remind yourself
That you're
Alive?

Teach yourself to
See you
Again?

Train yourself to
See you first?

Please
Send help

You ever reach a
PERSONAL BEST
While simultaneously creating a
BUSINESS WORST.

Hah

Don't want to
Be loved
Just want to
Make love

I feel so sick when I think of her.
A sickly sweet illness fills my veins
And this creature inside of me feeds on herself
Turning
Turning
Turning herself inside out
Trying to reach out
Trying to get away.

Not knowing
What you want
Who you are
Who inhabits your body
Is a terrible
Sickening thing.

This creature living within me
Growing as I grow
Screaming as she pleases
Is so loud sometimes
"Drink drink drink up silly girl. What's it matter silly girl. Nothing changes silly girl. All the same all the same drinkdrinkdrink."
Sickly sweet as she tugs at me
Pulls my heart down to my feet
Crushing it with
Every
Passing
Glance
"Thinking of you they're thinking of you bad bad things they're thinking of you"

Sickly sweet as she pulls my puppet strings down down down
Hands in pockets
Eyes into sockets
Head down
Shoulders down
Feeling down
downdowndown.

She throws me to the floor in tears
And tosses me on the bed in repentance.
"So sorry silly girl so pathetic so pathetic"

I can't leave her.
I can't get away.
This woman inside of me
Sickly sweet.

I love you so much
that even drunk
I love you more
than I have ever
loved
before.

You
Talk
Sing
Cry
Sleep
Hide
Leave
Run

Too much.