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 Mar 15 moon child
Cyclone
I make decisions when my stomach hurts.
all poetry is personal
some more than others

to just spread out your private feelings
     in your verse
may not be everyone's delight

but if you choose words
so that the many find their voices
    in your own
you may be lucky
to achieve all poets' dreams

your personal voice
becomes the public
 Nov 2019 moon child
Lace
World
 Nov 2019 moon child
Lace
She belongs to the world
And I belong to her
For she is my
Whole
          World
 Nov 2019 moon child
Kafka Joint
There's not enough books in this world
To hit you with all of them,
Because I can't stand you
And books are quite handy for this.
 Nov 2019 moon child
Lace
Young Love
 Nov 2019 moon child
Lace
Holding your gaze
And your face
And your body
As close as I can
 Jul 2019 moon child
Lace
Bipolar 1
 Jul 2019 moon child
Lace
Mind racing
Angry pacing
Not breathing
Inwardly seething

Chit, chat, chatter
I want to climb down the ladder

This constant game
My mind, I can’t tame

Bipolar express
Unbearable
I’m a mess

Constantly fearing
My chemicals veering
Down a different path
How long this time?

So high that I can’t come down
So low that I...

Bed.
Can’t get out.

H E A D

Can’t
                   get


              out.
Help
 Jul 2019 moon child
Lace
Another day goes by
Dealing with cravings and my pride
The signals in my brain short out and scream
I dream about getting high

Drowning
Gasping
Afraid

Swallowed by the thoughts in my mind
I go to a quiet place
Feel the sun shining on my face
And everything is okay
For a moment

Then it's gone

Numb
Quiet
Pain

They say one day at a time
But what about the night
The demons of this disease
Are putting up a good fight

The head and the heart
Make fighting a form of art

Pensive
Overbearing
Can't breathe

They say

One
Day
At
A
Time

But I'll fight
Day and Night
I'll get this right
25 days clean
 Jun 2019 moon child
Lace
It's taken time to admit
That I was going under
Drowning in my use

A storm was brewing inside
Bright lights and the thunder
Ready to hang from a noose

Guilt, shame and a racing mind
It was time to choose
Do I want to live

Or am I ready to lose

Little did I know
What I was about to do

Looking in the mirror
I picked up the phone
And called the man who did most of the abuse
He listened and informed me
That there is hope

I'm on day eight in rehab
The dark circles are gone
I'm alive for a reason
It's my choice to choose
Thank you for cutting the noose, Dad.
 Jun 2019 moon child
Lace
I see people
through
a one way mirror.
Transparent to me,
dark to them.

I see myself
through
a piece of frosted glass.
 Jun 2019 moon child
Lace
The old me was numb and high.
The new me is sober and dry.
Do you like this version?
Neither do I.
It’s been 6 years
of this viscous cycle,
it was eating me alive.
But what is life
if not just a never ending cycle
of training our mind
until we

                              die.
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