You're bashing my head,
Because I cut my skin.
You're leaving me for dead,
Because I didn't let you in.

You're slicing me open,
But I do that to myself.
I am not a pretty picture
You can place upon your shelf.

Well, I'm sorry that I'm burning.
Well, I'm sorry that I died.
Well, I'm sorry that you think I will run
To you if you hold your arms open wide.

I know you think that you're helping,
But honestly, you're not.
I know you wanted a perfect daughter
I'm sorry I'm what you got.

Stop trying to bandage my wounds.
Just leave my cuts and gashes.
I know you want me to rise again,
But I'm better off as ashes.

I'm screaming.
I'm crying.
I'm burning.
I'm dying.
Does nobody hear my plea?

I'm drowning.
I'm bleeding.
I'm choking.
I'm needing.
Does nobody even remember me?

They're laughing.
They're dancing.
They're singing.
They're prancing.
They don't see me dying alone.

They're happy.
I'm not.
They'll thrive.
I'll rot.
My pain will remain unknown.

You're right.
The world's not black anymore.
But it's still looking grey.

Okay.
It isn't night anymore.
But it surely isn't day.

The world isn't upside down anymore.
But I'm still not looking straight.

The door isn't locked up tight anymore.
But it's still a locked up gate.

I might not be standing still anymore,
But I'm still not ready to run.

My finger isn't on the trigger anymore.
But I haven't put down my gun.

You may not see me cry anymore.
But you still don't see me grin.

No, I'm not shutting you out anymore.
But I'm still not letting you in.

I'm shaking hands with the darkness.
And I'm shaking hands with the light.

But I can't let go of either,
Or they'll see each other and fight.

Don't assume that
Because I don't sink anymore,
That I must be flying.

Just because I'm not dead anymore,
Doesn't mean that I'm not dying.

I bought a red balloon today
It was round and shiny and bright
I smiled as it gently swayed
All bouncy and floaty and light

I don't know why it made me happy
Tied to a piece of string
I suppose when we all feel ******
It helps us cope with things

It dazzled like a beacon up high
On this day so dark and grey
But it brought smiles to passers by
Something to brighten up their day

But then I looked at this balloon
As it glowed above my head
Its beauty and life will deflate soon
So I let it go instead

Fly little red balloon.....

They think happiness is a bouquet of helium balloons. Picture everyone in the world, each holding a bunch of balloons on strings. Most people's balloons are plump and bouncy, and they float really well. Some people's balloons might be droopy because they're sad, or sick or something. So the people that know me think my balloons are just droopy, and they try to help. They say, "Here, have some helium. Let's get your balloons all floaty again." But I'm not holding any balloons at all. So even if they gave me helium- tanks and tanks of it- there's nothing to put it in. My balloons are just completely missing.

They say,
"Oh but you seem happy... could you really have depression"?
Jeeze, my sincere apologies, I did not realize they made trenchcoats the shade of hopeless desperation
I should have shoes that count steps, to project my need to justify why I got out of bed

I must have forgotten to cover myself with war paint, to prove to outsiders my internal battle
But I will buy lots of velcro, so I can wear the words whispered and screamed by my depression late last night
Tell me, did you really believe I could show you by sight
The twisted demon that lives inside

I'm drowning in an ocean
But the water tastes so sweet.
It's not that far around me
But miles beneath my feet.

Everyone is walking on their own bridges,
But their bridges have never been wet.
Their hands are outstretched
and calling my name.
How could they all forget?

"You're the one who pushed me in!"
I yell, as water fills my throat.
As I sink I'm offered one of two things;
A set of gills or a float.

I'm used to being wet now;
Is drowning such a crime?
There's nothing for me at the surface
But resuming my job as a mime.

See, my misery is my harmony,
So if I can learn to breathe in the sea,
Refuse to think, let myself sink,
This might be able to work for me.

So stop putting all your hands out.
Please, you might fall in too.
I've learned to love the water
But the water might not love you.

I love you, Mother, Father, Lover.
I'm sorry for all that I've done.
I know that this may hurt you,
But I'd rather swim than run.

The merchant taps his toes impatiently
And tells me now to pick.
But he should know how this goes by now;
Goodbyes are never quick.

I shed a tear for my friends and family.
I think of every song that I've ever sung.
"I don't want either," I tell him.
And the water fills my lungs.