Caught myself wishing
for a quick escape again-
guard up at all times.

10:35 PM
21/9/24

Sometimes
we fall in love
with those who simply
show a kindness that few can reciprocate.
They most likely won't think
twice about you yet
here we are,
left so helplessly
in love.

I live only to
survive the nights that feel cold
and dark and lonely

10:48 PM
21/9/24

I found you
in the dead of night-
a lost and lonely wanderer.
So I took you in,
cleaned up this house and
made space for you to stay.
You stayed for a while and
we felt lonely no more.
This house became our house,
and when it was your time to leave,
this place was never the same
no matter how many times I
tried to fill your absence.

I am just a ghost
walking with the wind
and it cuts through me
like a never-ending blizzard.
All I can do now is
gather memories
of warmer times,
of warmer eyes
of names that have long since escaped me.
When will these winter winds
whisk me away?
I don't want to feel again.

Some of us are scattered stars
without a solar system in the vast
and unforgiving cosmos.
We may not be part of a constellation
or host a planet and its life
we could sustain but
we still shine as bright
as any other star.

To this day,
I'm still replaying
the memories of you and I.
You may still be able to
steal my thoughts away,
each one turning into
another piece of
poetry.

Be sure to
contain those
seas and storms within you
or else those leaks and lightning
will leave you drowning.

Do you love
what we were?
who we are today?
or what we could
become?

Why do we write?
Is it to fill the bottomless hole
in our hearts
dug by those who
come and go,
who defile and destroy,
and those who do
not understand
your heart?

If I am a song,
you are the rhythm to my melody.
As for the lyrics,
they are written in a language
that only you could understand.

I am too
many tragedies
disguised as a man with
too many wounds
disguised as
memories.

Grief may take different forms
but it is there every day.
Some days it weighs on us more than others,
so much that you cannot breathe as if
crushed by the gravity of a
black hole in your heart-
it consumes all that it orbits
and not even light nor joy can escape its grasp.
Sometimes grief can be a burning sun
or a barren, cold moon
forsaken by its planet
all too long ago.

Years later, and I
think I would still love you like
I did long ago

3:40 PM
13/2/20

When was the last
time I felt like myself?
Maybe when I was young
all those years ago.
But those memories are
as distant to the present
as I am to myself now.

Sometimes,
between this distance,
darkness and silence,
your voice will break through
and sing away the sorrows and shadows-
a reminder that we are never
truly alone.

It is the human cycle to
surrender to love just as
we surrender to grief.
No one can control this cycle-
it teaches us truth and character,
it builds us up and cuts us down
in the best and worst of times.

I am a single
soul yet I am split and my
heart has been splintered

11:02 PM
6/4/20

It feels like I am
drowning except everyone
around me can breathe

10:03 PM
20/9/24

How do you know if
you are missing someone or
simply the feelings they made you feel?
Is there any way to know for sure?
The memories will last forever
but the nostalgia will come and go
like tides on a lonely shore.
So is it you or the feelings we shared
that I find washed up from sea?
My own little treasure chests
I will cherish forever.

Only a night in Hong Kong
can save me now.
With you, hand in hand,
we can walk the Dragon's Back
and find that perfect lookout.
We can watch the sun set over
a city we never wish to leave-
over the neon lights that never seem to fade.
Your head on my shoulder,
we shield each other from Autumn's chill
and forget about our troubles
at least just for tonight.

Is it enough to
say 'I miss you' before you
walk the other way?

11:05 PM
15/7/20

Was I in love
with you or the idea
of you I had in my head,
my heart and my dreams?
Is it possible to be
heartbroken by
an idea?

Sometimes the best way
to love is to understand
your partner's silence

6:29 PM
10/10/24

I still taste the gin
from her lips
and this heart
isn't slowing down.
How can I sleep when
her voice still echoes in my ear?
But when I do,
I hope I dream of her.
Tonight was not long enough.

My heart remains
stuck in the same place-
immovable,
unbreakable,
but my love moves
and flows
through time.

Hey, you, maybe we
could start over again and
get it right this time

5:17 PM
16/4/20

I do not need to
be reminded of the cost
of falling for you

11:14 PM
25/2/20

I’m not mad
and I'm not upset-
I’m just howling for the
first time in a long time
and as you can imagine,
there’s still a lot of 'you'
in my lungs.

Just because your words
are comforting, doesn't mean
they bring peace of mind

9:47 AM
29/2/20

Maybe
I was in love
with the idea of
who you could have been
more than who
you really are.

I wasn't the
name on her tongue
when she fell in love.
At least she fell
in love at all.

December creeps up on us,
and suddenly, I feel unburdened
from all I have carried this year.
No longer stuck, no longer trudging
through the days, weeks, months
I thought would never end.
Time to cleanse my soul of all
the turmoil and ties I do not
wish to carry into the new year.

October,
the month of blossoms
and hopeful horizons.
Perhaps this hibernating heart
can come out again and
bask in the new sun-
perhaps it will thaw out
one last time.

My mind is
a kaleidoscope
of colorful thoughts
and bright memories
all too vivid to
comprehend
at once.

Is being alone
what scares me or that I feel
so lonely alone?

11:40 PM
10/10/24

Don’t ask to love me
when what you really mean is
you want to touch me

6:19 PM
27/2/20

It still warms my soul
that you haven't forgotten me,
hell, you still think about me.
I poured all my love into your cup
and you have not spilt it
and turned away like
so many before.

I wrap my heart in
shadow, silence and stone.
Now with so many walls,
I fear parts of me will
never see the
light again.

Wrote you a haiku
and all I lost was a small,
small part of myself

7:23 AM
5/3/20

My heart begged me to
do something dramatic and
so I set it free

7:39 AM
29/1/20

I am forever
longing for the moment
where you and I
become
'we'

Sometimes the heart picks
its own poison and mine has
chosen you, my dear

1:37 PM
18/4/20

Maybe my poems
are so short because
I wish to avoid the pain
of remembering
too much.

When was the last time
someone knew you and not who
you pretend to be?

9:38 PM
3/8/20

And so we reach that time again-
the eve of an election.
The world holds its breath
for better or worse
as we turn another
page in the books
of history.

The word 'love' sounds more
desirable when it is
spoken from your mouth

4:10 PM
27/8/20

Are you
as tired of
this distance
between us
as I am?

Sometimes I get the feeling
that my demons love me more
than my angels.
Maybe the fallen are the ones
who know how to lift you up
and maybe the empty ones
are the ones to make you feel whole.

You were the last
bit of good in me.
You walked away,
and never gave it back.