I know you're scared,
you think it's hard,
you're not prepared
The scars remain,
when things aren't the same
anymore then what they used to be,
but the past is the past, believe me
I used to picture something real,
but was blind and ignorant
and came to see,
the truth was make believe and
what matters was being sane,
But for me,
I couldn't believe,
I could survive,
the darkest times,
the hidden clock,
all the treasures stocked inside,
were made of dust,
careless lust,
of words, and choices, my action
things i would never do with real passion
scared of reality and the unknown,
****, I never felt so alone,
in my thoughts, always needing to show,
what i feel of chasing but hiding too ,
what matters to me-
the pain, the bruising,
fights I constantly lose,
tricking my self, lost satisfaction
everything i knew,
was the false version, gave the fire fuse
But still I believed,
needing more than anything,
stability and motivation for more,
was the reason I evened the score,
when i promised I would never be
like you, who took advantage of me,
my body, respect, self-image
i turned against you,
my needs, my wants, and feels
when you pretend to be real,
dreams that you were different,
but really you were just the same,
a clone of lies, i pretended to know,
showing false intentions, the misfire
true desire,
i thought was real, that I was shown,
was fiction, a fairytale,
Like a dream, the darkest crime,
his attraction, to me, to mine
lies, deceit, i hoped weren't real,
were a mask, the fake version of himself, chosen to feel.
finally shows the black and white, a mistake identity.
selling desire and affection,
an empty promise, love, direction
as you faked you're affection,
You got an ******* off vulnerability, pleasure, pride,
taking advantage of the gain,
In hurting her, he corrupted her mind,
her thoughts of what's inside,
was it his or was it mine?
Fear of rejection, Won't want me, no need, says she
and blocked him, she didn't want to see,
what she thought, wasn't, what she seemed,
The effect, he won in making her fears begin to magnify, she actually scared herself, from herself, how she would react, her hidden thoughts, the secret service the done deed, feeling ashamed of, blaming herself, being a failure, she threatened to cut herself, needing a reason to stay alive, face her fears, needing to battle her life. Arms cut, wanting to die. Worthless, in pain caused by selfish satisfaction. One question, to be alive or to live a lie. Help and take action, or let the unknown be the reaction. For this source of action the opening key needs a honest reaction, the must, the gift of admiration, sheer
compassion.
True story of the impact of the pain from being lead on, pretend to be liked, or being taken advantage of, for whats psychical, like ***. A poem by me for me. To heal my mistaken feelings and to show others the damage, confusion, and pain caused.