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Anon Mar 2020
Going to die is like humming a song
You don't know the words you just hum along
How i feel about my intuitive knowing and premonitions of death.
Anon Mar 2020
It may as well just be me
On a tiny slab of land
In the middle of nowhere
All alone

Since I got off facebook
Anon Dec 2017
I am dismantled.
Laying here on the floor.

You thought you broke my body,
But you broke so much more.

It wasn't just me,
It was the life that we had.

Goodbye, familiar and secure.
Goodbye, dreams in my head.

I am dismantled.
Laying here on the floor.

I pick the pieces up,
But they don't fit together anymore.

I want to move on,
But I'm scattered apart.

There's no faith in who I am.
There's no trust in my heart.

I am dismantled.
Laying here on the floor.

I keep saying, Hello?
But you left out the door.

You hadn't understood,
How the abuse was like before.

And the abandonment was the same.
It's trauma for me on the floor.

Hey, I'm pretty broken here.
Picking myself up once more.

Oh brave heart, end this cycle.
I can't be a victim anymore.
I wrote this 4 years after the last abuse. I was triggered in a normal relationship with feelings of abandonment. That provided me a lense to see how raw the emotions still felt. And how cycles continue, even when I've tried hard to heal.
Anon Dec 2017
Toy with me
Use me for your gain
Stroke your ego
with my pain

Set your bait
Leave your trap
watch me flounder
As you take a step back

You think you're so tough
you think you're so bad
I can't tell you how many
"Pretends" like you I've had

Learning to spot the bullies
isn't really an art
Your words are a reflection
Of the pain in your heart

I feel pity for you
And I hope that you learn
You can't demand respect
It is something you earn
I've been the bully and the victim :(
Anon Dec 2017
I know it's shouting at you.

I know it's raging around you
and inside you.

But stop. Just stop.
Can you stop and listen?

I understand the difficulty.

Sitting calm in the storm, is one of the hardest things you'll ever learn.

But you have to overcome it,
before it overcomes you!

If you choose to be part of the storm,
go ahead.

We know how that goes.
Don't we?

Listen to the whispers,
Amid the storm of your emotions.

What do you want, Anger?
What's up?

When you can,
Tell me what makes you so mad.

Then tell me again,
what is REALLY bothering you about that.

Then, tell me again. And again.

I'm here, for as long as it takes.

Empty it out and let me haul it away with you.

It's okay.

Let it all go. Until you can see,
What you couldn't see before.

Until you can hear,
The whispers of your anger.
This is what I know/do about temper tantrums. In myself and others.
Anon Dec 2017
Trauma sits heavy upon my chest, decreasing my ability to express.

My hurt is big, my shame is thick,
My behavior can be so toxic.

I am so sorry this darkness flies out
From beneath my shackled chest

And I am so horrified, that it is with you
My painful poisin comes to rest
This is an expression of hurting people I love because I haven't healed enough from my own abuse trauma.
Anon Dec 2017
I am my mother, I am my sister
I am my aunties
and my grandmothers
I am our type of woman
It's in my DNA

I am the waves of the raging ocean
I rock you gently in my arms
I am full of love, and full of fear
So deep and so shallow
I am feminine grace
I am masculine strength
An ancestry of resilience

Sometimes I lay shivering
Repulsed that I am like Her
Sometimes I am humbled
Grateful that I am like Her

I slip from my grip
This obsession of Me
Of how
I came to be
I let it all go
And sit still in

No attachment
No judgement
No past
No projections

I sit in total surrender
Resistance is futile

And I
This is an expression of my family history of depression, hormonal imbalances, trauma imprints, and abuse cycles. Its also about using mindfulness to heal. Trying to end abuse cycles and generational healing.

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