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 Dec 2017 Mirror Mirage
Jey Blu
Always message me if you ever need anything, advice, a friend, someone to rant to, anything at all, please message me!!
I've been through a lot of stuff so I'll be able to help you with a lot of stuff.
I will usually answer very quickly, within a few minutes.
I love all of you, even if I've never met you or read your poems <3
Message me anytime
I am defined
By the blood
And tears I've shed,

I was formed
By the pieces
That were put together,

I am not whole
Not who I was
Not what I want
But what I got,

I was made
Not made from clay
And a hand,
But from flesh
And a knife

Who I am isn't due to love
Who I am was caused by fear
But that doesn't make me less
It makes me more,
I should remember that
I came from pain
And have made it far.
I've been ******* myself. Thinking about what I'm not and what I should be rather then what I am and what I have done. I have been forgetting all I have accomplished and that I have done so much and it's been making me feel hopeless of doing anything meaningful;
There is no plan — no agenda. 
No lies or falsehoods.

I don't believe in fairytales.
I can't see the truth in such stories.

I don't believe the fear in your eyes.
Because when I stare back all I see is

your pain
your confusion

the misfortune of the past
the misfortune of the present

and a hope for the future.


there is no sense in acquiring safety for one
and not for all.
 Dec 2017 Mirror Mirage
Damaged people love you like a crime scene
Before any crime had been committed
They kept their running shoes right next to their souls every night
One eye opened in case something changed whilst they were asleep

Damaged people love in the most broken way
Damaged people love in the most gentle way
Damaged people do not love
Damaged people love too much

Their backs are always too tense, too tight
Made this way from carrying too many broken things
Because we all know broken things are the heaviest
Just look the weight of a broken heart

Damaged people will love that too
Damaged people love broken things
Because they remind them of themselves

Damaged people take broken things
And love them to the end
Trying to find that one broken thing
That will fit their cracks.

Damaged people love so well

They love like this because they have already seen Hell
And they know that every evil demon
Was once an angel before they fell.
 Dec 2017 Mirror Mirage
Why is it always you?
Two of a kind
Running around my mind.

Why does it always lead back to you?
What is so special about you that i cant find someone new?
What is it that you give me,
That leads me to stay instead of flee.

What is going through your head?
How can you possibly call me friend?
Why do you want this to continue instead of end?

What do you see in me?
You’re delusional because there’s nothing to see.
I shouldn’t mean anything to you
Yet you stay and say that I’m important
But i confess all i do to you is rant.

Rant about my feelings
And other useless, irrelevant things.
Why do you continue to listen?
Despite me telling you to go constantly.

Why don’t you ever leave
The easiest thing to do would be to get rid of this pet peeve
I am both a pet and a pest
Your loyally insecure puppy

Too attached
Now forever yours
You don’t want to be stuck with this mess
So please just go, like all the rest.
It’s driving me insane
Do you even have a brain?
Why won’t you just go!
I’m too attached and I wait for you to leave
Because it’s all i know.

And you frustrate me
Because you just won’t go!
What is it running through your head?
I’ll never know.
You comfort me whenever I’m upset
You care about me when i cant care for myself
Why do you do these things?
Because we’re friends?
I’ve never known that path to lead to a good end.

Yet you say you’re different.
And i find myself wanting to believe
Please don’t lead me to be crushed in defeat.
I’m not sure i can take yet another heartbreak
Which is why i keep pushing and pushing you farther away.
I’m not quite sure how to let you in
So i awkwardly say too little and too much
Neither option seems to be enough.
I feel completely exposed and completely isolated.

Am i an attached little puppy?
Why do i trust you even though trust doesn’t mean ****.
I know as time goes on i will mean less and less
But i fear the future so i always think about it and end up a mess.
I dont know how to stop it so i just back away and refuse to do anything
While i sit and ponder why my heart stings

I admit, yes, i do this to myself
I worry and worry until the future i predict comes true.
I know it’s not any good for my health
But i refuse any type of help
Am i even aware of what help is anymore?
I know how to help myself get worse
How to put myself in that dark inescapable void.
It’s tiring but fun,
Watching my sanity slowly spiral.

Isn’t it fun to tell you goodbye
Just to go off and cry
And cut some more?
My dear, you will find
the day you meet a person
look into their eyes

You won't forget them
for it might just make you cry
as eyes are souls, dear

When you realize
you can see someone's soul, love
haunted, you will be
 Dec 2017 Mirror Mirage
Should I Break the silence into pieces?
shorten the Distance?
Three little words
would they Fill the void?
would my heart Beat again?


Can you Hear the whispers?
the waves on Mars
the sun Kissing the sky 
can you Hear the clouds missing the rain?

Three little words 
breaking my Silence into pieces 

 Dec 2017 Mirror Mirage
I know how to cope
Yet I can't cope

Uninterrupted sleep
Yet I can't
Because dad will wake me up

Sounds of nature
Yet I can't
Because mom will turn off my computer

Yet I can't
Because mom hates lavender.
 Dec 2017 Mirror Mirage
Today is the 13th of December it's quietly been crawling through the wee hours of the night
It's cold here where I live
-4 to be precise
What's the weather like where you live?
I'd imagine it to be sunny all the time. A magical place where unicorns run free across skies and seas and their is no wars just always and only peace, there is no known word called disease and everyone there is overflowing with happiness and delight to be in such a perfect afterlife.
You see everyone down here is just getting ready for Christmas and writing their own wish lists
But I can't help but think of you, or you, or you, or you, four people gone from this families tree within months of each other you vanished this year and I didn't get time to tell you I love you as you took your last breaths and left this earth
For a prettier place where you still get to see the snow you just don't get to feel the bitter touch of -4 on this day in December
I just wanted you to know that I remember you, and you, and you, and you!
Feeling  astrayed
Freshly  betrayed
Emotions cascade
Just no word
Going absurd
Visions blurred
No remembrance
Just a present tense
Let me be in silence
To contemplate
To hibernate
To liberate
Wanna be autonomous
Wanna go unconscious
Wanna be anonymous
My mood is like this...many times...i wonder anyone on this earth feels the same...
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