Always message me if you ever need anything, advice, a friend, someone to rant to, anything at all, please message me!!
I've been through a lot of stuff so I'll be able to help you with a lot of stuff.
I will usually answer very quickly, within a few minutes.
I love all of you, even if I've never met you or read your poems <3

I am defined
By the blood
And tears I've shed,

I was formed
By the pieces
That were put together,

I am not whole
Not who I was
Not what I want
But what I got,

I was made
Not made from clay
And a hand,
But from flesh
And a knife

Who I am isn't due to love
Who I am was caused by fear
But that doesn't make me less
It makes me more,
I should remember that
I came from pain
And have made it far.

There is no plan — no agenda. 
No lies or falsehoods.

I don't believe in fairytales.
I can't see the truth in such stories.

I don't believe the fear in your eyes.
Because when I stare back all I see is

your pain
your confusion

the misfortune of the past
the misfortune of the present

and a hope for the future.

But

there is no sense in acquiring safety for one
and not for all.

You
Why is it always you?
Two of a kind
Running around my mind.

Why does it always lead back to you?
What is so special about you that i cant find someone new?
What is it that you give me,
That leads me to stay instead of flee.

You
What is going through your head?
How can you possibly call me friend?
Why do you want this to continue instead of end?

What do you see in me?
You’re delusional because there’s nothing to see.
I shouldn’t mean anything to you
Yet you stay and say that I’m important
But i confess all i do to you is rant.

Rant about my feelings
And other useless, irrelevant things.
Why do you continue to listen?
Despite me telling you to go constantly.

Why don’t you ever leave
The easiest thing to do would be to get rid of this pet peeve
I am both a pet and a pest
Your loyally insecure puppy

Too attached
Now forever yours
You don’t want to be stuck with this mess
So please just go, like all the rest.
It’s driving me insane
Do you even have a brain?
Why won’t you just go!
I’m too attached and I wait for you to leave
Because it’s all i know.

And you frustrate me
Because you just won’t go!
What is it running through your head?
I’ll never know.
You comfort me whenever I’m upset
You care about me when i cant care for myself
Why do you do these things?
Because we’re friends?
I’ve never known that path to lead to a good end.

Yet you say you’re different.
And i find myself wanting to believe
Please don’t lead me to be crushed in defeat.
I’m not sure i can take yet another heartbreak
Which is why i keep pushing and pushing you farther away.
I’m not quite sure how to let you in
So i awkwardly say too little and too much
Neither option seems to be enough.
I feel completely exposed and completely isolated.

Am i an attached little puppy?
Why do i trust you even though trust doesn’t mean ****.
I know as time goes on i will mean less and less
But i fear the future so i always think about it and end up a mess.
I dont know how to stop it so i just back away and refuse to do anything
While i sit and ponder why my heart stings

I admit, yes, i do this to myself
I worry and worry until the future i predict comes true.
I know it’s not any good for my health
But i refuse any type of help
Am i even aware of what help is anymore?
I know how to help myself get worse
How to put myself in that dark inescapable void.
It’s tiring but fun,
Watching my sanity slowly spiral.

Isn’t it fun to tell you goodbye
Just to go off and cry
And cut some more?

Should I Break the silence into pieces?
shorten the Distance?
Three little words
would they Fill the void?
would my heart Beat again?

Numb 
Vacant 
Silent

Can you Hear the whispers?
the waves on Mars
the sun Kissing the sky 
can you Hear the clouds missing the rain?

Listen!
Three little words 
breaking my Silence into pieces 

I 
Miss 
You

Depression
I know how to cope
Yet I can't cope

Uninterrupted sleep
Yet I can't
Because dad will wake me up

Sounds of nature
Yet I can't
Because mom will turn off my computer

Aromateraphy
Yet I can't
Because mom hates lavender.

Today is the 13th of December it's quietly been crawling through the wee hours of the night
It's cold here where I live
-4 to be precise
What's the weather like where you live?
I'd imagine it to be sunny all the time. A magical place where unicorns run free across skies and seas and their is no wars just always and only peace, there is no known word called disease and everyone there is overflowing with happiness and delight to be in such a perfect afterlife.
You see everyone down here is just getting ready for Christmas and writing their own wish lists
But I can't help but think of you, or you, or you, or you, four people gone from this families tree within months of each other you vanished this year and I didn't get time to tell you I love you as you took your last breaths and left this earth
For a prettier place where you still get to see the snow you just don't get to feel the bitter touch of -4 on this day in December
I just wanted you to know that I remember you, and you, and you, and you!