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these lakes hold nothing more than the emptiness of my own two hands;
      than the silent fall of my breath.
because the birds are awake and the sky is still an empty canvas
              that I didn’t finish, that I chose not to because these fingers would not keep still, because they were too focused on tracing you,
    and trying to twine you back together again,

and the sun does not speak to us, not like we speak to it,
    It does not open its sad, dull mouth to try and herd together our aching, empty words,
It does not speak in tune, it does not speak at all.
and the moon does not look at us, not like we look at it,
It does not try to study the placing of our bones, or our wide open arms and how they got that way,
It does not wonder why we sing to it, why we sing to it with our hoarse throats and heavy eyes.

these lakes write in cursive. These lakes write in ripples
from our lips, whistling over them, delicate, trying not to disturb.
these lakes know us. These lakes do not forget -
can’t forget, because we have fixed our naked backs into their stomachs, floating,
trying to write our way into the sonnet,
trying to be a part of something other than our own selves.

But the birds cry from grief, and all the water tries to do, is drown us.

So we both walk home alone, bare feet parading over torn ground, shoes grasped between our bleeding hands.

It’s better off this way.
It’s always been better of this way.
I've been in a writing mood today :)
naked,

underneath snow that falls,

like a dead waltzer,

like you and your shaking self.



naked ,

where snow melts around bones that break,

knees that shake.

and a voice that refuses to speak.



naked,

laid out to rest,

cede to the crackling frost;

frost like a galaxy,

the same galaxy, crafted and stitched into your ice-born skin,

into your glacier eyes.



naked,

starved,

a suicidal dreamer,

trying to touch the stars,

the begging, arctic moon -

trying to touch anything

but her anorexic, marbled form.
a poem about me, and maybe some other dreamer out there, aching for freedom, for something.
Can't fight the tears that aren't welling

Can't wallow in the past and keep dwelling

Maybe you'll find time, to wallow in rhyme

Cause Misery's the poetry I'm sellin
Tis the season to be jolly -  or is it?
T
  O
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             C
You're facing me, but your eyes are no where to be found.
Yes, you are facing me but your face is featureless.
All that's visible is your beard and the lips it protects.
T
  O
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          I
             C
sludge pours from your gaping mouth.
A dark purple, thick liquid dripping slowly down your chin.
Most of the sludge makes a home in your beard,
just like my fingers used to burrow inside
and gently scratch the skin hiding underneath.
You used to love that.
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      X
          I
             C
sludge is never ending.
Yet, this pool calls out to me,
as if to say "paint in my missing features."
T
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             C
sludge smells sweet but sticks to my fingers.
I try to paint in your eyes but am stopped,
for I am unable to remember what your eyes look like.
Your mouth begins moving,
but there is no sound;
no words forming at the tip of your
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lips.
Of all details of you,
I remember your lips.
Kissing you was effortless.
Our lips would lock and never depart.
Your mouth always tasted of sugar; sweet, but too sweet.
Months of being tongue tied left me with cavities.
Your lips no longer look inviting when
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sludge continuously flows from them.
Looking closer now,
I can see letters forming at the tip of your tongue.
Too afraid to explore your mouth with my own once again,
I use ******* to gently pick up the letter.
M
Confused, I look again as more letters appear.
O-N-S-T-E-R
M
   O
      N
         S
           T
             ­ E
                 R
was your favorite pet name for me.
In our most
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moments, I became the girl in your nightmares.
I  became a
M
   O
      N
         S
           T
              E
         ­        R
I at least was only a
M
   O
      N
         S
           T
              E
         ­        R
in your nightmares.
Every waking day you were,
and always will be
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Back in the day
They had prophets
Now, we just have mental health patients
All the flowers in the field
See the little girl
Making her selection
"Pick me, pick me!"
They cry out
With their silent voices
"Where are they going?"
The littlest flower asked
"I don't know," said one
"Away from all this grass"
We are all poets,
Some write poetry
Some become the poetry
***** is the smartest thing
That does not have a brain
They can swim upriver
(And sometimes back, again)
Those little brainless buggers
Have so much to do
And thankfully they did it
To make me and you
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